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מול אש ומים.

לפני 7 חודשים. רביעי, 27 במרץ 2019, בשעה 00:34


מילים: שירה סתיו

אַל תַּאֲמִין לַגּוּף 
הוּא יִשְׁתֹּק 
כְּשֶׁיִּרְצֶה לְדַבֵּר 
וְגַם כְּשֶׁתִּגַּע 
בָּאֲזוֹרִים הָרְגִישִׁים בְּיוֹתֵר 
לֹא יְמַלְמֵל דָּבָר 

כְּשֶׁתַּחְלִיק אֶצְבְּעוֹתֶיךָ 
מִסָּבִיב לַטַּבּוּר 
לֹא יִרְעַד 
הַשְׂעָרוֹת לֹא יִסְמְרוּ 
הָעֵינַיִם 
לֹא יֵעָצְמוּ 
אֲנָחָה לֹא תִּמָּלֵט 
מִפִּיו 
שֶׁל הַגּוּף הַזֶּה 

אַל תַּאֲמִין לוֹ 
חֻמּוֹ אֵינוֹ עוֹלֶה 
קֶצֶב הַלֵּב 
יַצִּיב, 
סָדִיר, 
לֹא חָטוּף. 
אַל תַּאֲמִין לַגּוּף 

אֵינְךָ מַצְלִיף בּוֹ 
אִלּוּ הָיִיתָ מַצְלִיף 
הָיִיתָ רוֹאֶה 
שֶׁהַבָּשָׂר אֵינוֹ מַסְמִיק 
הָעוֹר אֵינוֹ רוֹטֵט 
הַשְּׁרִירִים אֵינָם סוֹפְגִים 
לֹא נֶעֱלָבִים 
הַשָּׁדַיִם 
לֹא מִתְקַשְּׁחִים 
הַפְּטָמוֹת רַכּוֹת, רַכּוֹת 
הַפְּטָמוֹת מְשֻׁעֲמָמוֹת 
הַתַּחְתּוֹנִים 
לֹא נִרְטָבִים 

אַל תַּאֲמִין 
לַגּוּף הַזֶּה 
לַגּוּף הָאִלֵּם הַזֶּה 
לַגּוּף הַכּוֹאֵב הַזֶּה 
לַגּוּף הָרָעֵב הַזֶּה 
לַגּוּף הַלּוֹהֵט הַזֶּה 
לַגּוּף הַשַּׁקְרָן 
הַזֶּה

לפני 8 חודשים. רביעי, 13 במרץ 2019, בשעה 17:49

Breaking up with someone is hard. Especially when that person is blind to what they did wrong. 

I could use a hug .

לפני 10 חודשים. ראשון, 6 בינואר 2019, בשעה 12:20

Last night I fulfilled most women's biggest fantasy.

I was hit on by a tall, handsome, educated, sexy Italian man. He talked with his hands with big passionate gestures, and he is called Moreno.

Because of the absurdity of the situation I decided to go with it. I was at this bar with 2 skinner, sexier friends.. but it was me he was after. 

After all the excitement of the pursuit and the uniqueness of the unknown and the sizeable dick (bonus!!), I can still honestly say that Vanilla sex doesn't do it for me anymore...

I don't know if theres something wrong with me. I was myself. I wasn't trying to bed this Italian. He admired my sense of humour and "don't give a fuck" attitude. Everything was perfect... But I was bored. Where was the sense of adventure? The slight fear, the anticipation...

I think I'm taking a break from vanilla for a while.

 

לפני 10 חודשים. רביעי, 2 בינואר 2019, בשעה 02:22

I sat next to you at the bar during a new years party. 

I had taken something and really needed a glass of water. You grabbed a cup, reached over the bar and poured me one and handed it over. Something in your eyes looked safe and warm . We exchanged a few words as I rolled myself a joint and I immediately felt a spark. "He has a calming smile" I thought to myself. I walked away with my friend knowing that if something was going to happen it would happen and I need to look after my friend. 

A couple of hours later .

Outside. Fresh air, cigarette.

That smile. More conversation. More chemistry. We go inside together, my friends go home. I trust this man, why do I trust this man. I feel a crazy connection, and as I'm thinking it he says it. 

"You're cheeky (shovava)" he tells me .

"How?"

"You have a cheeky vibe"

"Sure, I know... But how am I cheeky" , I grin as I say it 

"You like games of control. You like being controlled."

I blush, he continues .

"That's very good. We will get along."

He continues to read me like an opened book. I let him flick through my pages, which have collected dust. I'm safe, I'm warm. 

Later he read my lips, brushed his fingers all over my body, made me squirt all over the bed and spanked me till I couldn't move. 

"Are you single?" He asks

"Yes" I reply .

"Great. I happen to have an opening for a naughty little girl, would love to see you apply ."

 

I am calm .

 

 

 

 

לפני 10 חודשים. שבת, 29 בדצמבר 2018, בשעה 20:14

You came over. 

You kissed me .

You choked me

You spanked me and I ask you greedily for me .

I know. Today is about your fun. 

 

I hope it loved up to its expectations.

 

 

 

Thank you for fucking my ass. 

לפני 10 חודשים. שבת, 22 בדצמבר 2018, בשעה 18:50

I get it. Putting the effort in to make someone trust you is fucking difficult. 

It means being a decent human being and considering their feelings.

However you don't know what a deep well of care and love is hidden behind that wall. You never made an effort to look for a crack in my defense. You threw yourself aimlessly at my direction kept getting knocked back. 

 

 

 

לפני 11 חודשים. שני, 26 בנובמבר 2018, בשעה 22:04

Safe sex. 

When I hear this phrase I immediately flash back to high school lessons with condoms on bananas and various types of contraception. 

Noone ever taught me about emotionally safe sex. What is emotionally safe sex? Is it something to be negotiated or discussed? Is it something I'm willing to compromise on? 

 

The answer to all these is no. 

When you need something from your partner and they make a conscious decision to ignore your needs knowing fully well how distraught you are emotionally this is not emotionally safe sex .

 

After care is absolutely non negotiable. Does not matter if your sex was kinky or you did a scene or it was totally vanilla. 

My daddy hurt me today. After today I'm not sure if I still want to call him my Daddy .I don't think so .

 

Daddy's are supposed to care about my emotional well being .

לפני שנה. חמישי, 15 בנובמבר 2018, בשעה 01:35

I wish these marks stayed for longer so when I sit I would wince in pain. I look like such a good sweet girl and noone ever suspects I'm a horny little slut who begs daddy for his belt.

לפני שנה. רביעי, 14 בנובמבר 2018, בשעה 00:05

I was so proud of myself today for colour coordinating my underwear.



 

 

לפני שנה. שלישי, 13 בנובמבר 2018, בשעה 01:16

Everytime I sat down today, I moaned, felt myself remember what daddy had done to me.... and became so fucking wet for him.

Daddy says he likes the marks because it shows everyone I belong to Daddy.

Even if Daddy lets me fuck other people, I'm Daddy's.