לפני שנה. 29 באפריל 2023 בשעה 9:05
So many beautiful people were at the party.
They all seemed to be searching for something.
They were moving in circles around the club, hoping their eyes would lock with someone else's.
What was it they were looking for? Magical first time chemistry? Mindblowing sex in the dark room in the back?
I've learned that good sex takes time, dedication and a genuine connection.
It almost never happens on the first try.
Have they not learned this yet?
Or do they know something I don't?
Maybe it's the hunt they are looking for? I mean who doesn't love a good chase.
The sudden eye contact from across the room, the hair flipping, the awkward small talk. Who doesn't love that..
To feel so attractive someone actually came up and spoke to you, when there were so many other attractive people at the party they could have approached.
But is that it?
I was thinking to myself; "I'm at this crazy sexy party, I should be having fun, no?"
I did have some fun. When I was sitting cross-legged in the closed roped swing and strangers passed by and stared at me, admiring me. Admiring my body. I loved the attention. That was a little fun.
But I didn't want to be talked to, I wanted to be looked at and left alone. How can that really be fun?
Maybe it's the lack of alcohol or drugs in my system.
Maybe everyone there was high as a kite and I was just too darn sober.
Damn antibiotics...
What was I craving? Was it the hope that some random shirtless muscular guy, who's hopefully not twice my age, would come over and talk to me?
Then what? We'd ride of into the sunset? We'd fuck around a little and never see each other again after that?
Is it the touch that I need? The soft sensation of someone's hand moving across my craving body?
Maybe its the lustful sex that I need, a good physical release.
Well in that case I should go mastrerbate, no?!
Is it really worth the hassle?
Maybe I just wanted to be seen?
And maybe the music was soulless.
Maybe the boring repeated sounds just didn't do it for me this time.
Maybe the fact that my feet were hurting so damn much after wearing those heels for 4 hours straight. (How do those strippers do it?!)
Maybe the fact that my wig was pushing against my scalp which made my head hurt like hell.
Maybe it was the fact that I kept on losing sight of my girlfriends that made me feel like a little girl who lost her parents at the supermarket.
Maybe I just didn't know enough people at the party and felt lonely.
Maybe I'm too lonely...
I don't think I'll be coming to the next party.
Shame, because I have so much clothing that's designed specifically for parties like this one.
And I look so damn sexy in them
