i guess i must have been on edge and not noticed,
because the second you pick up,
i fill with rage.
this withdrawal from weed (and tobacco) is making me crazy.
I don't even know why i'm angry,
but the longer we talk,
the worse it all gets.
i try to be reasonable but all i can manage is overly emotional honesty.
i don't think it's helping much.
we hang up.
i hate myself.
i'm missing my usual mental crutches (weed) so i drink instead.
i wish you would just come over.
you have the key.
don't say a word, just come over, come inside.
maybe even hurt me a little.
maybe more than a little.
and then fuck my brains out so i can stop thinking.