המתת השור

הוא הדבר הזה...כאשר כן יש רגש בין הגבר ובין האישה, בין השולט לנשלטת במיקרה הזדהות שלי, כאשר האדונים האלה מבינים שזה לא רק מדובר על סקס, אי כבוד, זילזול וחוסר חיבור לעולם הרגשות של השני, אזי אפשר לדבר על חוויה בדסמית אמיתית

טרם מצאתי את האדון הנכון לי ...זה פשוט מה שקורה לי כעת

אני מוותרת כעת כי יש דברים בוהרים אחרים אבל בתוך תוכי אני לא מוותרת על החלום כי אני שמה לב שברגע שיש תיאור של כן התמזגות נכונה האני האמיתי שלי, הנשלטת האמיתית שבי מתייצבת

לפני חודשיים היה לי אחד המפגשים הסוהרים שלי ביותר בחיי עם גבר פריזאי

הוא רצה בי חזק אחרי המפגש הזה גם לי לו

והוא השתנה תור כמה ימים...מרוצה אותי כולי עם רגש, הפך לעכזר, מנותק, מזלזל...גס רוח ולא איכפת בוב

גיששתי מושפלת עוד חודשיים עד שלפני יומיים אמרתי לו לא סופית...

באשר למאהב הסוס פראי שלי פה בבית חולים, הוא השתכל בי כל כך ישירות בעיניים הערב...עם עיניו השחורות העמוקות והבוטעות..יש מתח מיני ביניינו...אני לא מדברת איתו לא מתייחסת אליו אחרי שזרקתי אותו...הוא גם גאה מאןד....

אבל אתמול אישנתי חשיש עד שחשבתי שהולכת למות...אחד שמת עליי עושה לי את הטןבה הזו...אז החייה הרעה הולכת לקום שוב ולהופיע ואני רוצה להתעלס איתו עם ווגנר ברקע ...מחוששת....רגע לפני שאני יוצת לדרך חדשה...

a sub is not necesseraly dumb

French -- and other things -- makes me think you you, my dear!  I take it that your operation went well?  You have recovered?   Indeed, I try to "locate" where I am.  It helps give me perspective, otherwise I would freak out about Putin, Syria, Republicans in Washington...   I am glad you found companionship, that your man from Cleveland helped you put back your cut up pieces.  That you also realized some fantasies with him.   I am not at all offended by what you write.  On the contrary, you make me very horny.  I imagine me in that man's place, both holding you, and fucking you -- and being bound in a chair while you fucked other people, men, women, white, black....so you can watch my erection quiver in the air while you get your pleasure.

אומרים ועושים שטויות...

היא חשבה שהינה, הדברים מסתרים סוף סוף קצת בשבילי

ובתוכי אני צחקתי קצת וחשבתי לי : אילו היית יודעת ...שאני אישה שעושה שטויות...

פתאום, אני אוהבת להתפרע..

חושבים איך אישה כל כך חכמה אוהבת קצת לקפוץ בתור התהום...

זה פשוט מסיבה אחת : אהבה טהורה של החיים....לטרוף אותה מכול הכיוונים..

לא מצאתי פרטנר לזה...וחבל...אלה שרציתי היו יותר מידי בלי רגשות...אלה שהיו להם רגשות ....למעשה לא מצאתי אף פעם

וגם היו אלה שלא היה להם רגשות ולא היו מאהבים טובים ...

להתחיל לתת שמות חבריה 😄 ?????

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the complain of the English Patient

פורסם לפני 45 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:30

In fact, something happened suddenly and I saw this friend of mine

smoking wheed...I ran back at him gave him a kiss and took the cigarette out of his hand....

and now

"He was the only one to as...."

was the sentence coming back to mind

with the violence of a vibrant mantra

"I am doing the same"

then I thought...a real life tragedy...I am marrying with the devil...

a sexless, a thousand way less intelligent

even one could say dumb at times....

he adores me I don't

because a love of my life could not happen and I would leave one with the magic, the sex, the wild and furious sex and passion that I wanted

so was I saying to myself for a week now

by listening to the English Patient for hours on...

there...was I thinking ...i want that ! and not this ...

this is instead of that...in fact...

I am doing a huge compromise for the sake of something uncompromisible

but I have to make

for I cannot stay alone anymore

for I cannot stay unprotected, unloved, uncared anymore

for I cannot

so here I make a mariage de raison...

but

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he was the only one to ask

פורסם לפני 40 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:35

a  long time ago...my grand mother was borne, grew quickly into this lovely little girl

her only crime was, beside be jewish, that she was a ginger frekkled little girl

so Us the grand children we loved her like that

but her own mother, being a polish motherfucker!

hated her and all her guts, and her little ginger bouclette

I would remain a tragedy until her very last as she never could recover the fact of being so unloved

there started a long legent and lignée in our family

mother hate their daughter and on and an on

up to today

so there  she grew my grandmother into her youthful youth

and He came along this strange youngster, this english fellow

and asked for  her hand...

and she said yes

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years later decades later

פורסם לפני 37 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:38

this guy of course turned to be dum  guy

but my grandmother being the tough lady

was certainly not submissive and barked back at him

whenever they were fighting that means ....a lot

One day, my grand father asked his wife : why then did you agree to marry me ?

oh dum we was to ask that question to my dear dear

there came the answer as the knife of a butcher

" you were the only to ask"!

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years later, decades later

פורסם לפני 32 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:43

her grand daughter, me...

is making the same mistake

but not because she did not fight to it

just because I cannot I simply cannot

I renounced in fact marrying prince charming

this is the renouncement of a child really

of this little girl out there

that is still sooooooo alive up to today and kicking her little palms on the window of the world

and believing so hard....on the becoming of prince charming

the dream of the little princess

waiting for her messiah

the religionthat was taught specifically to girls for generation and in universal language is this

Man , a man should be your true god....your only religion....

was I doing that really ?

 

today

פורסם לפני 28 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:47

what I am doing

in a post freudian area

as I can digg in that layer too

I can do it

another scent of reflexion

onather territory of the brain

I am killing the little girl dream

I am becoming truly, a true adult

I have learned

finally learned to that to accept that

after years I obstinately refused to do so

I accepted reality as it is

is is what we should call it ?

or the other

compromise or sacrifice

brake or brake

in fact i donnot know anymore

it looked so acute a few minutes away....

 

what I am doing

in a post freudian area

as I can digg in that layer too

I can do it

another scent of reflexion

onather territory of the brain

I am killing the little girl dream

I am becoming truly, a true adult

I have learned

finally learned to that to accept that

after years I obstinately refused to do so

I accepted reality as it is

is is what we should call it ?

or the other

compromise or sacrifice

brake or brake

in fact i donnot know anymore

it looked so acute a few minutes away....

it is not there anymore

her grand daughter, me...

is making the same mistake

but not because she did not fight to it

just because I cannot I simply cannot

I renounced in fact marrying prince charming

this is the renouncement of a child really

of this little girl out there

that is still sooooooo alive up to today and kicking her little palms on the window of the world

and believing so hard....on the becoming of prince charming

the dream of the little princess

waiting for her messiah

the religionthat was taught specifically to girls for generation and in universal language is this

Man , a man should be your true god....your only religion....

was I doing that really ?

 

this guy of course turned to be dum  guy

but my grandmother being the tough lady

was certainly not submissive and barked back at him

whenever they were fighting that means ....a lot

One day, my grand father asked his wife : why then did you agree to marry me ?

oh dum we was to ask that question to my dear dear

there came the answer as the knife of a butcher

" you were the only to ask"!