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לפני 11 שנים. 22 בספטמבר 2013 בשעה 15:17

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the complain of the English Patient

פורסם לפני 45 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:30

In fact, something happened suddenly and I saw this friend of mine

smoking wheed...I ran back at him gave him a kiss and took the cigarette out of his hand....

and now

"He was the only one to as...."

was the sentence coming back to mind

with the violence of a vibrant mantra

"I am doing the same"

then I thought...a real life tragedy...I am marrying with the devil...

a sexless, a thousand way less intelligent

even one could say dumb at times....

he adores me I don't

because a love of my life could not happen and I would leave one with the magic, the sex, the wild and furious sex and passion that I wanted

so was I saying to myself for a week now

by listening to the English Patient for hours on...

there...was I thinking ...i want that ! and not this ...

this is instead of that...in fact...

I am doing a huge compromise for the sake of something uncompromisible

but I have to make

for I cannot stay alone anymore

for I cannot stay unprotected, unloved, uncared anymore

for I cannot

so here I make a mariage de raison...

but

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he was the only one to ask

פורסם לפני 40 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:35

a  long time ago...my grand mother was borne, grew quickly into this lovely little girl

her only crime was, beside be jewish, that she was a ginger frekkled little girl

so Us the grand children we loved her like that

but her own mother, being a polish motherfucker!

hated her and all her guts, and her little ginger bouclette

I would remain a tragedy until her very last as she never could recover the fact of being so unloved

there started a long legent and lignée in our family

mother hate their daughter and on and an on

up to today

so there  she grew my grandmother into her youthful youth

and He came along this strange youngster, this english fellow

and asked for  her hand...

and she said yes

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years later decades later

פורסם לפני 37 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:38

this guy of course turned to be dum  guy

but my grandmother being the tough lady

was certainly not submissive and barked back at him

whenever they were fighting that means ....a lot

One day, my grand father asked his wife : why then did you agree to marry me ?

oh dum we was to ask that question to my dear dear

there came the answer as the knife of a butcher

" you were the only to ask"!

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years later, decades later

פורסם לפני 32 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:43

her grand daughter, me...

is making the same mistake

but not because she did not fight to it

just because I cannot I simply cannot

I renounced in fact marrying prince charming

this is the renouncement of a child really

of this little girl out there

that is still sooooooo alive up to today and kicking her little palms on the window of the world

and believing so hard....on the becoming of prince charming

the dream of the little princess

waiting for her messiah

the religionthat was taught specifically to girls for generation and in universal language is this

Man , a man should be your true god....your only religion....

was I doing that really ?

 

today

פורסם לפני 28 דקות ב - 22 בספטמבר, 2013 בשעה 16:47

what I am doing

in a post freudian area

as I can digg in that layer too

I can do it

another scent of reflexion

onather territory of the brain

I am killing the little girl dream

I am becoming truly, a true adult

I have learned

finally learned to that to accept that

after years I obstinately refused to do so

I accepted reality as it is

is is what we should call it ?

or the other

compromise or sacrifice

brake or brake

in fact i donnot know anymore

it looked so acute a few minutes away....

 


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