המקום שלי

היה לי תוכניות וציפיות גדולות לאתמול בערב
אבל אם יש דבר אחד שאני לומדת ממך, זה ששום דבר לא בשליטתי
וגם לפעמים לא הכל תלוי בך
אבל מדהים אותי כל פעם מחדש איך אתה מצליח לשפר כל מצב ולהפוך אותה לערב בלתי נשכחת
גם שדברים הולכים לגמרי לכיוון אחר אתה תמיד לוקח אותי מעבר לציפיות שלי

אז לא הפתעתי אותך כמו שתכננתי
וכלכך הרבה זמן חיכיתי לערב של שנינו לבד כדי להשתחרר טוטלית
פנטזתי על כל מה שהיה יכול להיות
דברים אישים נפלו עלי והכל השתנה

אתה מגיע ושנינו נכנסים בתוך הבועה שלנו
.....ויש רק אותך
ואני זאת שזיכיתי להיות שלך

לפעמים אתה קשוח
תמיד אתה מתחשב
לפעמים אתה עקשן
תמיד אתה מקשיב
לפעמים אתה מעניש
ולפעמים הכל כואב
אבל אני יודעת
שתמיד הכל בא מהלב

אדוני תודה שהיית שם בשבילי
תודה על כל מה שאתה בשבילי
שלך עם כל נשמתי

לפעמים אנחנו צריכים להתמודד עם מצבים קשים
זה בודק את הכוח האישי שלנו
כנראה אני בתקופה כזאת
בודקים אותי
כמה אני חזקה באמת
איכשהו שזה קורה אני מפתיע גם את עצמי

החברה שלנו פיטרו שליש מעובדיה ואני אחד מהם
שוב אני מוצאת את עצמי בנקודת התחלה
אני לא דואגת
למזלי היה לי בוס מדהים שנלחם ודאג לעוד כמה משכורות תוך כדי שאשב בבית ואחפש
הכאב הכי גדול זה שמכרתי האוטו ואת מה שיש לי אצטרך להחזיר
אבל גם עם זה אתמודד
היה יכול להיות יותר גרוע

כן אני המפרנסת היחידה אבל אני גם חרוצה
עבודה יהיה
כמה ימים לנקות את הראש ושוב להתחיל בחיפושים

סתם יום כזה
יש בעבודה מתח שאפשר לחתוך עם סכין
עוד כמה ימים נדע מי הולך ומי נשאר
זה בכלל לא נותן רצון להיות כאן
במיוחד ששבוע עבדתי כמו חמור להביא צפי כמה הכנסות יהיו שנה הבא
קצת הזוי שהצפי הזה מביא סיכום אם גם אני אחת שילך
לא זה שאני משקיעה 24/7 בעבודה באמת יעזור לי במצב הנוכחי

אני אחרי סוף שבוע מטורף של מסיבות והופעות ולא היה רגע שלא נהניתי
אמנם לא היית איתי פיזית הרגשתי אותך איתי תמיד
אתה ממלא את המחשבות וחלומות שלי
הימים כולם געגוע אחד גדול (כמה שאפשר בין עבודה, טורניר כדורגל, ילדים, קניות וכל השאר) האמת איך אני מצליחה להתגעגע בכלל ? 😄 חח זה פשוט כך..
ובזכות ההופעה שעדיין מנגן לי בראש

אדוני..
You take my breath away

The party was in full swing, everyone was enjoying themselves. She was trying to be the best hostess she could be, but her heart was pounding like a thousand drums in her chest.

She knew it was nearly time, and she had never been so nervous before in her life. Another boundary, one she thought she would never cross, but it just seemed so right.

They came and took her away, the ones she had chosen to help her prepare. They blindfolded her and handcuffed her hands behind her back, another symbol as to who he was

When she was ready they led her back in and placed her in the centre of the room, removed her skirt to reveal her white skin and the black lace line that ran through the middle. They helped her down on to her knees and there she waited, head lowered eyes closed, just trying to inhale. She was wearing her corset which made it even harder to breathe.

Moments seemed like eternity and she felt his familiar touch as he stroked the side of her face to lift her head. She had fantasized about this moment for so long, what she knew would come now and what would continue later when they were alone.

He whispered in her ear, words she had waited so long to hear, she smiled and underneath the blindfold tears swelled in her eyes, she was grateful even he couldn’t see them.

Custom made she felt the leather closing around her neck. Closed and locked, his collar was fastened tight. He whispered again in her ear and kissed her on her cheek. He had asked if she was ready and she nodded, but her body deceived her as she started to shake.

They led her to the apparatus, helped her lie over it and then refastened the cuffs. One hand on each side. Her legs too. They placed something in her mouth she would need something to bite on.

All she could do was bite down and take deep breaths
He whipped her, softened every part of her flesh, she could feel it starting to sting. He concentrated only on her buttocks as he needed it ready. She knew she had to keep count but somewhere after fifteen she could no longer remember. While the ones she had chosen to help her, gently calmed her with ice over where he had hit her, she could hear him unscrewing his whip. Yes one he had found that neither of them had ever seen before. She could hardly handle the feel of it on her body, but tonight it had a different purpose. He pulled out the knives hidden inside the handle, so sharp, sterilized them and suddenly a silence filled the room. Someone grabbed her hands and told her to relax, squeezed them hard. The pain was nothing she had ever imagined, the knife slid through her flesh as if it was hot butter. Three cuts was all it took. She held her breath the whole time. The tears where now rolling down her cheeks, he kissed her face. Step 3 completed, he smiled

Again she felt the ice on her soothing the mark he had left on her. Her arms and legs were released and she was helped up and taken to the corner to catch her breath. She was smiling but her whole body was shaking.

They left almost immediately. 2 more steps but those were just for them.
They got home and he hugged her, she melted in his arms. He took her to the bedroom, she kneeled on the bed and he tied her hand behind her back. Helped her up and told her to kneel on the floor. She obeyed willingly

"Open you mouth slave", he ordered. She obliged, He grabbed her hair and pulled her head to him hard as he slid inside her all the way to the back of her throat. Barely letting her breathe he kept her there, seldomly allowing her to take a breath. He loved the way the tears rolled down her cheeks. The way he made her gag, and how she could hardly breathe. He just kept going. He lifted her on to the bed with her head off the side towards the floor. He grabbed her neck and squeezed tight as he pushed in as far as he could go, taking her to the point where he controlled whether she would take another breath or not. He watched her body and let go just when she couldn’t go on
When he was ready to release, he pulled and told her to open her mouth. He emptied all he had all over her face and chest., but the final mark was left to come
He pulled her to the floor and placed her on her knees. Arms forward, head to the floor arms stretched out before him. One last mark he had to leave. She didn’t dare say a word, she had none to explain what was going on inside, She felt the warmth of the fluid across her back, almost soothing after all she had endured. Another boundary vanished from existence, it just felt so right….And now there was no doubt whose property she was...

From the minute his fist slid inside her, she slipped away into her euphoric state. A place so unfamiliar, she had only experienced it once before. A space that does not come from pain, she gets there from pleasure. He took her there, and once she entered that addictive state, she was his completely. It was as if he reached inside and took ownership of her soul
She lost count of the strikes to her torso as he had ordered her to keep track, 200 hundred he said would settle the debt, strikes that were meant to be a punishment for the night before. Her mind ceased to calculate, she could only fathom this ultimate pleasure he and given her. Even when he withdrew and thrust again, her body accepted him completely.
Her arms and head were limp, she had no will to move, there was nothing she wouldn't do, she wanted him to strike some more, but as the whip cracked against her skin she floated further within.....He paused, let her breath it in, and come back to him.....now she was ready to begin

Courage of the heart is very rare

מעולם לא רציתי להרגיש שוט
כמו שאני רוצה את שוטך
מעולם לא רציתי כאב
כמו שבא מידך
מעלום לא הרגשתי שפחה
כמו שאני כשפחתך
מעולם לא רציתי שייכות
כמו שאני רוצה להיות שלך

עדיין חצויה בהחלטות שלי כאמא
האם עשיתי הכי טוב עבורו
הגדול תודה לאל' מתחיל את השנה ברגל ימין
אבל תמיד היה כך

הקטן
מתמודד עם עוד שינוי
אז כן 6 ילדים בכיתה ומענה אישי
אבל התמונה הגדולה נמצא עם 120 ילדים בבית ספר שכולם עם בעיות והרבה חמורות
עדיין לא רואה איך הוא משתלב שם איתם
ילד בן 7 חנק אותו היום עד שגרם לו להקיא, עם כל המטפלים מדריכים ומחנכים איך לא ראו?
הילד השני קבל עונש, אז אני אמורה להיות רגועה? שוב שואלת השאלה האם בחרתי נכונה

He waited for her downstairs, she got into the car and he kissed her passionately, something she had been waiting for all day, She was dressed in a short skirt and a tight fitting top. Immediately he ordered her to remove her panties and sit with her legs apart. He pulled a blindfold out from under him and gently covered her eyes and away they drove


They drive in silence with faint music in the background, her heart pounds as the fear of the unknown starts to set in, she can see nothing, and she can say nothing, her body trembles. He constantly surprises her as he slides his fingers inside her to see how wet she is.

30 mins pass which seemed like eternity, she hears the gravel underneath the wheels of the car, they are no longer on a road, finally he stops, and she is in utter darkness. There are no reflections of lights shining through the blindfold. Her sight completely cut off. He tells her to wait in the car and not dare move. The door closes shut and he is gone.

Unable to estimate the time that had passed and to afraid to move incase he was watching her, it seemed like another eternity.

She heard the door open and he took her hand and led her out the car, no sooner had he closed the door behind her he swirled her around and bent her over the front of the car. With no mercy his hand thrust inside her that she let out a scream. "SHSH he whispers in her ear, I promise you will enjoy tonight, and I know I will enjoy you".

He continues to play between her thighs bringing her closer and closer to climax., "not now, not yet". He withdraws his hand and her body relaxes slightly allowing her to take a breath of the sea air, the smell of the salt mixes with the scent that is oozing from her body.

He leads her further into the darkness and then stops, again he turns her back to him as he slowly winds the ropes around her body, He pulls on the ropes and her hands are raised above her head, just enough, it was then she realized he had tied her to a tree. "On your knees, ", he orders, and as she lowers her body, he hands are pulled tighter above her head. She can feel the warmth of him against her skin as he pries her mouth open and thrusts himself deep into her throat cutting her airway as he goes in deeper. Just as she feels her gag reflex coming into action, he pulls out and lets her breathe, not for long, he goes in again this time ignoring the reflex. He continues until she can no longer gag and accepts him the way he taught her how.

He was not ready to release, there was still too much more he had planned, He pulled the pegs out of the bag placing two on each nipple she shuddered slightly and let out a moan. He walks away for not more than a few instants, but she cannot see nor can she hear, she has no idea where he is. She was totally unprepared for the first sting that swiped across her buttocks, as he started lashing her. She loved the way, he would alternate between the hard strikes to her buttocks and the less powerful ones to her shoulders and back. She let out a cry, not sure whether from pleasure or pain, her hands still tied above her head, she could not escape. Her body aches, she can no longer feel her knees, and she is dripping in her own juices. She feels she is getting to the point where she cannot continue, she pushes further, to please him at that point he stops. He unties her and removes the pegs from her breasts, he hugs her and kisses her face and asks if she can continue.
"Yes, sir," she whispers. Still blindfolded he carries her over to a blanket he had laid down earlier and placed her on her knees. She immediately assumes her position and stretches her arms in front of her and lowers her head to the ground. She could sense warmth surrounding the blanket, and could smell the wax in the air. Candles surrounded them. His hand caressed her body and gently he probed between her thighs, he smirked at the wetness he found there, how open she was for him, He fingers played between her crevices as he opened all of her up, she could feel herself slipping away to his touch, he brought her back when she felt the hot wax dripping on her newly raw skin.

Each drop that fell on her she opened more, he penetrated further. She begs him to let her cum, and he rubs her hard until she sprayed everything she had inside her. She came again and again. He loses his patience, he wants her, and he removes his pants and enters her hard but with such ease, his hands wrapped tight around her neck. He pushes her forward on to her stomach as he enters her from behind pushing in harder. She moans in ecstasy and he orders her to cum again. He rides her till he reaches his climax, and just before, he pulls out and grabs her by the hair, and releases all he has inside deep into the back of her throat

Exhausted they both collapse onto the blanket, covered in each others sweat; he holds her close, removes the blindfold and kisses her hard and they both fade into slumber

והלכתי לבד בין המון אנשים
רציתי אותו
התעוררתי לבד ברחוב המואר
חלמתי אותו
והאם בכלל אדע איך לאהוב אותו?

כי התרגלתי לעצמי
לא רואה אחרת
כי התרגלתי כבר לחשוב
שאין אף אחד קרוב
כי התרגלתי לעצמי
לא רואה בכלל לאן
ממשיכה עכשיו מכאן
(תבוא יותר קרוב, תבוא יותר קרוב, תבוא...)
ואולי גם לאהוב

התעוררתי לבד מול הקיר הלבן
רציתי אותה
התעוררתי לבד לא מבין את עצמי
חלמתי אותה
והאם בכלל אדע איך לאהוב אותה?

כי התרגלתי לעצמי
לא זוכר אחרת
כי התרגלתי כבר לחשוב
שאין אף אחד קרוב
כי התרגלתי לעצמי
לא זוכר בכלל לאן
אני הולך עכשיו מכאן
(תבוא יותר קרוב, תבוא יותר קרוב, תבוא...)
ואולי גם לאהוב

אתה יודע מה שזה עושה לי
שזה חסר, שזה בוער
את יודע מה שזה עושה