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In the Pink

סוטה, חמודה, ובלונדינית ברמות. ראו הוזהרתם. 8-)

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"But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night"
Khalil Gibran

It was beautiful to live"
when you lived!
The world is bluer and of the earth
at night, when I sleep
enormous, within your small hands."

Pablo Neruda
לפני 12 שנים. 29 בפברואר 2012 בשעה 8:48

Another one from the vaults... for your reading pleasure.
Different

It was different the second time.

The first time had been — although I only really comprehended so in retrospect — nerve-wracking.

Would we be a “fit”? Would we be compatible?

Would he like my body? Would I like his?

Would it be like it was with my previous dom, where i was restricted to the point of not daring to open my mouth except when presented with an upstanding dick to suck? (Incorrectly believing that this was “the one twue way” to submit.)

It had been none of the above, and all my fears had been proved groundless. The experience the first time had been absolutely incredible — and I intend no hyperbole here. I was calm, reassured, and in no way wracked with nerves — on the contrary; rather excited and anticipating the endless possibilities of new experience that lay ahead.

Taking care not to harm a still-swollen cheek after a painful tooth extraction a day or so ago, i kissed him hello carefully. What we have is still very new, but not so new that the shine hasn’t rubbed off a little (in the nicest possible way), and I can sense a certain warm familiarity about the way his lips meet mine — a familiarity that pleases me and gives me a big old warm and fuzzy.

That, in and of itself, was different.

We began the same way as last time, with him spreading out the truly comprehensive collection of toys, ticklers, teasers and floggers that he owns — and Dan is a man who believes in pervertibles to an unbelievable extent. He told me that once I’d seen and experienced his collection, I’d never be able to go shopping for anything else again without looking through a BDSM filter at just about every item on the shelf.

(Except, perhaps, condoms. Heh.)

I chose what toys I fancied playing with, taking care not to err on the side of big-girly-wussiness and caution, as I had done previously, and adding to my usual choices of skin-sensation fun-and furry things, several floggers, some rubber and silk binding wires, the blindfold, and bondage (aka hiking) rope. And a vibrating smurf. (Swear to god.)

Then the session began.

He stood me in front of him, and made it clear that he was in charge by removing my clothing and handling my body, piece by piece. Once I was stood before him, naked and trembling with excitement, he bound each breast individually, and began playing with them.

Having never experienced breast-binding before, i was astounded to learn that it heightened the sensations in my boobs more than ever, and the nipple-to-clit hotline along which an electric current usually travels, had suddenly become even more sensitive – resulting in an awareness of my cunt being awash as soon as he pulled me towards him by the tippy-tip of my nipple.

It hu-u-u-rt… but it felt so good.

I brought my eyes level with his — i know how much he loves to look deep into my eyes.

“I’m wet. In fact, I’m soaking.”

His baby-blues twinkled a faux nonchalance at me.

“I’ll check in a minute” he said, almost too dismissively.

I squirmed as I stood there in front of him, his hands groping, stroking and palpating bits of me — none of it reducing the wetness; on the contrary, all of it contributing to yet more gushage.

Suddenly i wanted nothing more than to have him touch me, stroke me, make me come. And he knew, oh how he knew! I could tell, from how slowly he was taking things. He had no need to hurry. This was being done on his timescale, not mine.

Exquisite agony.

“Will you undress me, please?”

Mutely, I did as I was told. Shirt, shoes, socks, pants and underwear. I knelt before him naked, and he took me firmly by the hair.

“I like having you kneeling in front of me,” he smiled, and kissed me again.

(The wetness factor upped itself threefold. I felt like a classic Bon Jovi album.)

He leaned forward and unbound my breasts, only to pull out a long, orange hiking rope, and begin to truss me like a chicken.

“Did you bring your camera with you?” I asked him, as I turned this way and that, surveying myself critically in the mirror.

“No, not today — why?”

“This looks hot. My tits look fabulous. The girls have never been this well dressed. I want to commemorate the occasion.”

“Next time, dear. OK?”

*******************************************************

Later, after he had indeed discovered how utterly awash with arousal I was, and a fisting that brought tears of joy to my eyes with the intensity of the orgasm (although strangely no gush that time… anyone got any idea why?), he bade me snuggle into him, while he held me and stroked every bit of me he could reach.

“Relax, Kitten. You’re always so busy — I want you to relax and be calm and still.”

“But … I’m not good at being passive… and I just want to make you happy… and –”

“That’s fine, but let me pamper you. You’ll have your turn later, I promise.”

So, once again, I did as I was told, although he relented and allowed me to gently stroke his chest and torso. I wasn’t surprised that he did, I believe he likes to be stroked as much as he likes to stroke.

And as I lay there, I reflected on my good fortune. I’d fallen into BDSM, as an experiment, and it had led me to meet this wonderful person who dominated me as much as i wanted or needed, and genuinely cared for me also. And indulged me, and liked talking to me, and discussing stuff with me, and understood me and all my quirky foibles, and contradictions, and all of the other things that define me as me — good and bad.

I’d not only found a wonderful lover, I’d found a friend. A really good friend. A rarity in any walk of life, but especially within the confines of BDSM to find one with whom each others pet perves click a happy fit, and you also get on like a house on fire.

I knew how lucky I was. And I couldn't wait until next time.

לפני 12 שנים. 28 בינואר 2012 בשעה 5:14


It was my birthday this week. I turned forty-something.

I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful group of friends who love me -- both in my vanilla life as well as my delvings into the netherworld of BDSM. I received such an outpouring of love and warmth that I felt genuinely buoyed by the affection, caring and consideration.

My daughter had me take her shopping the previous day -- booked a week in advance, mind you -- so that she could buy me flowers to give me on the morning of my birthday. She'd originally suggested going a couple of days previous, until I pointed out to her that the flowers that I wasn't supposed to know about would surely die before the morning when she planned to surprise me. She did wake me, if not entirely to my surprise, with breakfast in bed (tea and toast, since you ask), and a present in addition to purple, orange and deep red roses. How gorgeous?

My son gave me hugs, kisses, mumbled apologies and teenage angst for my birthday. At 12 going on 13-cum-nightmare-teenager, I suppose it's par for the course. I hugged him back, and tld him I loved him, and that since I had decided to award myself what the Big Bad Cat is wont to call a "shavua-ledet", he still had time to buy me the over-priced trinkets that I desere for putting up with his mood swings, the demands of his social life, and the shponk of his feet. (Would that I could unscrew his feet at the ankles, and leave them on the window ledge overnight to air. Dear god!)

I wasn't sure how to process the new age. I'd never thought much beyond the previous one (the answer to life, the universe and everything) and this one holds no literary milestone to which I can ally myself, nor does it resonate with any kind of numerical significance that I know of -- although being as my mathematical skills range somewhere between "complete dunce" and "requires an abacus", this may not be the whole reality; just the one with which I am familiar.

Thirteen days before my birthday marked the three year anniversary of my relationship with the NEMRF*, and I was unable, for reasons uninteresting to this forum, to get my head around a suitable ode or dedicated piece of prose. Therefore, if you will indulge me, I'll write it now.

Words actually fail me. Not that I am speechless -- an as-yet unknown phenomenon -- but finding the words to describe the love that we share, the closeness, the warmth, the mutual support and essentially the very coupliness of us as a couple requires more than a little hyperbole and grandiosity - not my favoured form of prose. But there you go, the feline has foiled me once again! 😄 With him, I can talk -- but really talk. I can complain, if i need to -- and we resolve any issues with discussion and love and warmth. I know that he always has my back -- mentally and physically. I know how and where I stand, what to expect and when to expect it -- except when he wishes to surprise me, in which case I don't. I know he'll never let me down, which in and of itself is worth its weight in gold. And I mean never. Never.

To this day, a mere look or incidental touch has my knees a-tremble and my cunt awash. Such prolonged a period of raw desire is new to me. Moreover, a whispered word has the same effect -- specific words, of course, not just any old word, but he knows them. Following in the footsteps of such great poetic felines as Pablo Neruda, Yona Wallach or C.P. Cavafy (to name but three) he chooses his words to me so that they never pierce my ear with some cacophonous tangle, but rather flow with grace and ease, and soothe, delight pr arouse, as intended.

My love, my Dom, Cat of my Heart -- the first three years of us have been more wonderful than I can say. You mean so much to me because you know and understand why it is and who I am and how to do That Thing That We Do so successfully -- and understand the reasoning behind it even when I don't... and even when you don't, you do it anyway without the understanding but just to make me happy. You have taught me what it means to be truly loved, and if I wasn't in love with you already, this fact alone would cinch the deal.




*(Nefarious Evil Mean & Rotten Feline)

לפני 12 שנים. 20 בינואר 2012 בשעה 9:02


Anyone going to Diva tonight?

😄

לפני 12 שנים. 16 בינואר 2012 בשעה 6:48

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me

Than have to have a frontal lobotomy

That is all. Normal service will be resumed shortly.

In the meantime, here's some music.


לפני 12 שנים. 13 בינואר 2012 בשעה 21:42


Sent to me by a certain nefarious, evil, mean and rotten feline:

Cat (by Val Morehouse)

Grin stretched Cheshire wide
on the glass screen
of the fish bowl,
cat is furry sleep rolled upside-down
inside the first fresh
doughnut of sunlight.

Whisker sweeping
face crumbs
of dream away,
cat is the morning star
purring at the
earside of dawn.

Cat is the great feline
stalker in the wild veldt of
unblanketed toes.
What?
No mouse? Verrrrry
sorrrry...

For those of you who are fortunate enough to have met the cat of my heart, this poem should ring true in almost every whisper, word and nuance.

Love it. Love him. 😄

לפני 12 שנים. 13 בינואר 2012 בשעה 17:31


Another from the vaults.


I peep at the world from behind my eyes.

Not that this is unique – that’s pretty much the sum of the architecture of the facial anatomy.

Eyes in face. Soul looks out.

Sometimes — not always but occasionally — it is more than that.

I feel like some small sentient being. Hiding inside my skull, cradling my emotions, feelings and needs to me as I curl my emotions into a foetal ball. Ducking away from the glare of the light, even as I twist to peer out wonderingly through the holes in my head.

Hiding from the world, but not all of me. I peer, therefore, I still connect — or wish to. Or cannot bear not to.

Conscious-stream, emanating from behind the eyes. The world-weary tiredness that propels me inward.

Not far enough to make it a permanent cut — the cruellest stroke of all I could and would not do. It is, don’t you think, the ultimate act of selfishness. Possessed as I am of a long-ingrained horror of being perceived as or as actually being selfish.

But there are times when I wish I could retreat, snail-like.

And peep at the world from behind my eyes.

לפני 12 שנים. 12 בינואר 2012 בשעה 11:41


New year, new resolutions. New hopes, new dreams.

Or rather, if I'm going to be more exact, renewed, rather than new. My hopes and dreams have been quite carefully and subtly established and are unlikely to change much -- other than the occasional momentary wish to see some annoying beauracrat or other nonentity burst into spontaneous flames.

I see that the new year brings new considerations to some of my friends, and renewed vigour in perusing my words to some other people. Apparently, I *am* that fascinating. Who'da thunk it?

I see the public world around us going to hell in a handbasket. But in private, without revealing too much, it's good. Good, and getting even better.

The smut shall return. Promise.

Kisses.

לפני 12 שנים. 6 בינואר 2012 בשעה 7:48


"What's this?"

His hand burrows deep within me, and grabs on, hard.

I squirm and resist screaming -- just.

"What?"

"This." Pinch. Twist.

A yowl of ecstasy from the supine blonde.

"It's yours," she mumbles through the brushed cotton pillowcase.

"What?"

"Yours!"

"Come!"

Scream. Gush. Shudder. Exhale.

Collapse.


לפני 12 שנים. 1 בינואר 2012 בשעה 10:15


2012 is finally here, eize kef lanu!

Here's hoping that the best of 2011 is the best of 2012. May the new year be truly happy for all of us.


לפני 12 שנים. 28 בדצמבר 2011 בשעה 7:53


Another one from long ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and parking wasn't a problem in Tel Aviv city centre. 😄

It was never an ambition of mine to be fisted.

In fact, when reading this piece, I was reminded of how I once felt about the whole fisting experience. Except I was far less enthusiastic than she sounds.

"Euw," I thought to myself on more than one occasion.

"A whole fist? Inside my poor little pussy? What if it goes too far in, and I feel his watch in me-- and it snags on one of the leftover pubic hairs goddamn-them that evaded the all-pervading destruction of my depilatory efforts? What then? Aiieee!!!"

(When i imagine the bad of a situation, I tend to go straight to worst-possible-case scenario, and wallow there for a while. It's one of the joys of being neurotic. Of which there are many.)

And then it happened for the first time.

I lay in his arms, and I could feel his fingers inside me, probing into the deepest part of me, furiously. It was his desire to make me gush my come all over his hand, and by golly he was giving it his all.

"How many are inside me?" I asked him. "Fingers, I mean."

He giggled. (How sexy is it when a guy giggles with pure pleasure? Sexy enough to melt even the most frigid of hearts, I'll bet.)

"Umm... all of them."

"All of them? All???"

"Yeah. All."

"All. Four. Fingers."

"Yes, all four. And don't forget my thumb."

"You mean you're...."

"Yeah. I'm fisting you. How does it feel?"

It felt fabulous, if the truth be told. I felt filled up, but it was different than the thick-cock-filling-me-feeling. And it was lovely, because the movements made by his fist inside me were so different to a cock. So sensual, yet so raw and so powerful. I could liken the smooth, fullness of the moments to how it felt immediately after my anal passage relaxes and allows a cock that is fucking it full access.

It was wonderful.

But I was still doubtful. I mean, if it was this easy, what had stopped all my other lovers from trying it? Was it because this guy was more perverted? Unlikely. Perverted in a different way, maybe?

Yeah -- maybe.

I strained to look. "I wanna see!"

"Here, I have an idea. Hold on a second..."

His voice trailed away as he reached behind him and grabbed a large professional digital camera from the stand next to the bed. He fiddled with it a little, and then handed it to me and started positioning my arms with his free hand.

"Wait... let me move your hands for you... lift your arms up a bit... yes.. that's it. Now push the button."

I duly pushed the button, and heard the satisfying click-whirr-clunk of a photo taken. He took the camera from me, and single-handedly adjusted it so that it reflected the last picture taken, and then showed me.

Sure enough, there was my cunt, and his fist... all the way inside it. (And he wasn't wearing a watch.)

It's the oddest thing to see your pussy iconized like that. The whole picture was my pussy and his wrist protruding from it. And as i was looking at it, I could feel his fist inside me. Accommodating myself to fit him had been far easier than I'd thought, although I am not terrifically big in the cunt area.

Practicalities dispensed with, we returned our attentions to fucking. Specifically, to him fucking me with his hand.

His whole hand all the way inside me. Fisting me.

The sweetest and most intense pressure as his pace increased and my grip on reality started to unhinge. The build-up inside me of pre-orgasmic excitement and an almost-but-not-quite unbearable tension in my bladder or thereabouts spiraled me higher and higher to orgasmic bliss until i came and gushed out rivers of fluid all over his hand, and I heard his contented sigh of satisfaction.

"That's it, come for me baby. Yesss...."

I exhaled, and lay back, exhausted. I felt his hand slide out of me, caressing me as it slid. I heard his satisfied breathing complementing my own jagged coming-down gasps and i felt blissed-out and dazed.

My first fisting.