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לפני 19 שנים •
3 בספט׳ 2005
Another Blonde Joke
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON, WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY
CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED THE PILOT WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS .. I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON |
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Bent
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לפני 19 שנים •
6 בספט׳ 2005
BLONDE JOKES - COOL
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She
wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes alot, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 12_foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" |
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Bent
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לפני 19 שנים •
6 בספט׳ 2005
AND
NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two
pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over." "Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear." "Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?" "Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing. Over." "That's right. Over and out." They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. "Hello, Pig 2? Come in please." "Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear." "OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?" "Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program." "That's right, Pig 2. Over and out." An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last stage drops off as planned. Ground control contacts the astronauts again. "Houston here, Kiki, come in. Kiki do you read us?" "Kiki here, reading you loud and clear." "Kiki, do you remember your instructions?" "Yes," Kiki says, "I feed the two pigs and keep my hands off any buttons." |
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עינב(אחרת)
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לפני 19 שנים •
6 בספט׳ 2005
  
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Here And There(נשלטת)
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לפני 19 שנים •
16 בספט׳ 2005
Re: BLONDE JOKES - COOL
[A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She
wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes alot, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 12_foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either] hehehe, sweet....not bad....
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Bent
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לפני 19 שנים •
18 בספט׳ 2005
blond spelling
Anally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U Caesarian section -- district in Rome Cat scan -- searching for kitty Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her Colic -- sheep dog Coma -- a punctuation mark Congenital -- friendly D&C -- where Washington is Diarrhea -- journal of daily events Dilate -- to live long Enema -- not a friend Fester -- quicker Fibula -- a small lie Genital -- non-Jewish G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game Grippe -- suitcase Hangnail -- coat hook Impotent -- distinguished, well known Intense pain -- torture in a teepee Labour pain -- got hurt at work Medical staff -- doctor's cane Morbid -- higher offer Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate Node -- was aware of Outpatient -- person who had fainted Pap smear -- fatherhood test Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis Post operative -- letter carrier Protein -- favouring young people Rectum -- damn near killed 'em Recovery room -- place to do upholstery Rheumatic -- amorous Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf Secretion -- hiding anything Seizure -- Roman emperor Serology -- study of knighthood Tablet -- small tablet Terminal Illness -- sickness at airport Tibia -- country in North Africa Tumor -- an extra pair Urine -- opposite of you're out Varicose -- located nearby Vein -- conceited |
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Bent
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לפני 19 שנים •
18 בספט׳ 2005
and one more
A blonde is driving along a deserted country road with fields on either side. She looks out the window and sees another blonde in the middle of a field, in a rowboat, rowing and rowing.
She stops the car, rolls down the window and yells, "You know it's blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!" Getting no reaction from the blonde in the rowboat, she screams, "If I could swim I'd come out there and punch you out!" |
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Here And There(נשלטת)
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לפני 19 שנים •
19 בספט׳ 2005
..
the blond one is cute.
the word association- the hebrew one's nicer. (איך אומרים "קולע למטרה"...?) http://www.chez.com/benjaminbenz/hebrew/aaNomsRigolos.html |
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Bent
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לפני 19 שנים •
25 בספט׳ 2005
in that case:
Did You Hear About The Blond That. . .
Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2 to 4 years. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out. Couldn't call 911 because there is no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered 'C.' What goes 'vroom-screech-vroom-screech-etc? A blonde at a flashing red light. Two blondes are trying to get into their car using a coat hanger when one says 'hurry, it's starting to rain and the top is down.' Burnt her nose bobbing for French-fries. You shouldn't let blondes take coffee breaks; it takes too long to retrain them. She baked a turkey for 3 1/2 days because the instructions said 1/2 hour per pound and she weighed 125. Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel. Got hurt while raking leaves -- fell out of the tree. Changes the babies diaper only once a month because the label said 'good for up to 20 pounds'. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms. |
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