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Another Blonde Joke

Mistress Gatta
לפני 19 שנים • 3 בספט׳ 2005

Another Blonde Joke

Mistress Gatta • 3 בספט׳ 2005
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON, WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY
CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS
DOWN THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS
TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID
FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.


THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL,
I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."


THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE
PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING
IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE
BACK TO HER SEAT.


THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN
THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE
AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.


THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,
I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."


THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE
THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE
WOMAN WHO WON'T
LISTEN TO REASON.


THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."


HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE
SAYS, "OH,
I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER
SEAT IN ECONOMY.


THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED
THE PILOT WHAT HE
SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS .. I TOLD HER, "FIRST
CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON
Bent
לפני 19 שנים • 6 בספט׳ 2005

BLONDE JOKES - COOL

Bent • 6 בספט׳ 2005
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She
wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes alot, but was very
reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of
one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go
out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a
reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll
luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on
catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he
spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water,
shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 12_foot alligator
swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature,
and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The
shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped
the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it,
this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Bent
לפני 19 שנים • 6 בספט׳ 2005

AND

Bent • 6 בספט׳ 2005
NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two
pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde.

When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage
drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you
read us? Over."

"Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear."

"Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?"

"Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to
initiate the moon landing. Over."

"That's right. Over and out."

They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. "Hello,
Pig 2? Come in please."

"Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear."

"OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?"

"Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I
press on the green button to initiate the launch program."

"That's right, Pig 2. Over and out."

An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed
the last stage drops off as planned. Ground control contacts the
astronauts again. "Houston here, Kiki, come in. Kiki do you read
us?"

"Kiki here, reading you loud and clear."

"Kiki, do you remember your instructions?"

"Yes," Kiki says, "I feed the two pigs and keep my hands off any
buttons."
Here And There​(נשלטת)
לפני 19 שנים • 16 בספט׳ 2005

Re: BLONDE JOKES - COOL

Here And There​(נשלטת) • 16 בספט׳ 2005
[A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She
wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes alot, but was very
reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of
one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go
out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a
reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll
luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on
catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he
spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water,
shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 12_foot alligator
swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature,
and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The
shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped
the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it,
this one isn't wearing any shoes either]

hehehe, sweet....not bad.... icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif
Bent
לפני 19 שנים • 18 בספט׳ 2005

blond spelling

Bent • 18 בספט׳ 2005
Anally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase
Hangnail -- coat hook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favouring young people
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal Illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited
Bent
לפני 19 שנים • 18 בספט׳ 2005

and one more

Bent • 18 בספט׳ 2005
A blonde is driving along a deserted country road with fields on either side. She looks out the window and sees another blonde in the middle of a field, in a rowboat, rowing and rowing.

She stops the car, rolls down the window and yells, "You know it's blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!"

Getting no reaction from the blonde in the rowboat, she screams, "If I could swim I'd come out there and punch you out!"
Bent
לפני 19 שנים • 25 בספט׳ 2005

in that case:

Bent • 25 בספט׳ 2005
Did You Hear About The Blond That. . .

Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2 to 4 years.

Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

Couldn't call 911 because there is no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered 'C.'

What goes 'vroom-screech-vroom-screech-etc? A blonde at a flashing red light.

Two blondes are trying to get into their car using a coat hanger when one says 'hurry, it's starting to rain and the top is down.'

Burnt her nose bobbing for French-fries.

You shouldn't let blondes take coffee breaks; it takes too long to retrain them.

She baked a turkey for 3 1/2 days because the instructions said 1/2 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.

Got hurt while raking leaves -- fell out of the tree.

Changes the babies diaper only once a month because the label said 'good for up to 20 pounds'.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.