Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

MERRY CHRISTMAS (In Legalese):

Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes
for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, and gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a
fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated
onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited
to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars
of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without
regard to the race, creed, age, physical ability, religious faith or lack
thereof, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the
wishee(s).