Question

Well...

SyM • 23 ביוני 2007

That was thorough… and not entirely relevant, if I may say so.
There are many words that mean humiliation in English. If you mentioned degradation, why not debasement or disgrace? They all carry the same weight, as far as I’m concerned. It is all stripping a person of his/her dignity. And no matter if it brings freedom from the norm, we are all born and raised in a society, where there are rules and conventions. We all know what a slight to our dignity feels like, no matter its causes.
If someone insults you, you’d know it. No one would have to explain it to you.
I guess that is why it carries certain effects to some.

I was asking from the other side. When a dominant humiliates the woman he’s with, and does it with the imitation of causing harm (which is another meaning of humiliate), since it brings him pleasure. Of course all the respect he held for her (if such existed) goes out the window.
I guess that’s called abuse, and doesn’t really fit in the discussions here…

well...

Mistress Gatta • 23 ביוני 2007

Then ...are we on the subject of BDSM or are we talking here about abuse? If later, then its a different story all together, and ABUSE is ABUSE, which raises red flag. If Dominant is simply A SADIST AND ABUSER, then it has nothing to do with Lifestyle...
Perhaps I am missing something...

LG

SyM • 23 ביוני 2007

Nope, I think you're right on the money here...

phew...I am glad I got it!!!

Mistress Gatta • 23 ביוני 2007

WELL, VERBAL HUMILIATION IN REALM OF BDSM IS NOT THE SAME AS JUST HUMILIATION IN VANILLA WORLD. YES, I DO CALL MY BOYS SLUTS AND BITCHES, BUT ALWAYS ITS MY SLUT, OR MY BITCH.! IT GIVES OUR GAME MORE KINK, BUT AT THE SAME TIME BY CALLING THEM ALL THOSE WORDS I DO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY BELONG TO ME AND NO ONE ELSE!

Dear Mistress

SyM • 24 ביוני 2007

There is no need to get upset, and there is definitely no need to shout.
I thought we were conducting a civilized debate.

If you’d have read my previous posts, you’d have noticed that I make it clear: I talk of no one other than myself. I do not accuse you of anything, especially not abuse. Thank you for you inputs.

lol

Mistress Gatta • 24 ביוני 2007

was not upset or screaming! simply copied stuff from My website which happened to be in Caps!! You are welcome to check it out www.ladygatta.com I think there are plenty info on Forum page,

Mistress Asha​(שולטת) • 25 ביוני 2007

There are some clients who I dislike, and some who I think are fantastic people and greatly respect. The client (or any sub) is human, so some I respect and some I don't. All I treat with the same respect I'd treat anyone else - until the session starts.

The session is not... real in the way that regular life is. It's real in those moments, but when I treat the client with disrespect and hurt him (or her), it's only within the session itself, within that roleplay. It's not real in the sense that I truly think they're disgusting or weak or whatever else. Inside the session they're my slave, slut, whatever. Outside? They're human beings and I respect them.

SyM • 25 ביוני 2007

Admirable that you can make the switch so easily.

Mistress Asha​(שולטת) • 27 ביוני 2007

*shrug*

All the dominas I know make that switch easily as well.

נזמית לופתת • 4 בינו׳ 2008

I am not a dominant (not sexually anyway), so I can only describe how I would like a dominant to react and approach me. Also, it was a little bit hard for me to understand rather you are talking on just humilliations? The whole spectrum of BDSM? Because honestly, I know some very devoted loyal non-BDSMic women that has no shame licking and wallowing, and loving their husbends/ lovers with the same breath, without any switches - not theirs, nor the men that are involved. And they're realy not even getting close to BDSM.

To me, there is a great deal of difference between sessions that are being done with payment or without, to a realationship which contains long term emotions combinig elemnts of BDSM on diverse levels.

Some might make one hate them in order to erouse themselves, but still, doing that knowing that she/he can also always choose to go when ever a situation is not for their taste, that he or she are only there for sexually arrausment, just like clients of every other business, or just like a vanilla couple one/ two night stand. This of course, is my personal perception, and I would be happy to hear others, but to me It is not the essence of BDSM.

In BDSM realationships, as some in Vanilla, I first start a dialog with the man/ woman thats infront of me, not BDSM. If someone captivating to me, and I can have a dialog on a personal level that does not contain BDSM, therefore I have more ground to creat BDSM with them as well, since we are connecting on the same level of openness, willing to get to know one another, not just calling names at each other and sticking various of human organs.

When someone is able to speak to me in all other levels, knowing me as person, as a woman, as freind and as a lover, he can most certainly be more able to know me as a submissive, which is an integral part of me, without ignoring all other parts of me, and therefore able to look at me during and afterwords without feeling as an exploiter, abuser, or any contempt.

For how can you feel like you decry someone, offend, or feel like you are abusing, if you know him or her on every other level, knowing that he/ she gives herself to you, and what it makes her feel, knowing that she loves it and enjoys that as some may enjoy strawberries or good music? Not just as a whore/ hole/ slut/ slave, but as a person. As a human being.