| Mistress Gatta |
לפני 19 שנים •
28 בספט׳ 2004
joke
A well-meaning gentile from Connecticut, upon getting to
Washington on his vacation, is about to enter Senator Lieberman's office when a Capitol Building guard stops him. "I'm sorry, Sir," the guard explained. "Senator Lieberman is doing Mincha and Mariv at this time." The gentile walks away shaking his head, saying: "Hmmm, Clinton only had Monica." |
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crazy_toast(שולט){אליס}
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לפני 19 שנים •
28 בספט׳ 2004
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melody
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לפני 19 שנים •
30 בספט׳ 2004
Rofl
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Dan_Kap(שולט){f,yt,D,תכ}
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לפני 19 שנים •
6 באוק׳ 2004
Another one...> Harvey and Gladys Goldman are getting ready for bed. Gladys is > standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long, hard look at > herself. > > "You know, Harvey," she comments. "I stare into this mirror and I > see an ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs sag so much > that they dangle to my waist, my arms and legs are as flabby as popped > balloons, and...my butt looks like a sad, deflated version of the > Hindenberg!" > > She turns to face her husband and says, "Dear, please tell me just > one positive thing about my body so I can feel better about myself." > > Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then says in a > soft, thoughtful voice, Well...there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." > > > Services for Harvey Goldman will be held Tuesday morning at 10:30 > at Beth Israel Synagogue 
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| Mistress Gatta |
לפני 19 שנים •
7 באוק׳ 2004
ok, then another one
One day Red Riding Hood was walking thru the woods and met Big Hungry Wolf. She asked for directions to her grandmother's house. Wolf advised her that he is going fry her. But she replied: dear Wolf, please do it according to the story- you have to EAT me first!!!
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| Mistress Gatta |
לפני 19 שנים •
11 באוק׳ 2004
another one
The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with
men,and women to dance with women. But, we'd like your permission to dance together." The rabbi answers, "No way! Men and women always dance separately." "So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?" rabbi replies: "It's forbidden." "Can we finally have sex?" "Of course!," replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah within marriage, to have children!" "What about different positions?" asks the man. "No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!". "Woman on top?" the man asks. R replies: "It's a mitzvah!" "Doggy style?" "Another mitzvah!". "On the kitchen table?" "A mitzvah!". "Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?". "It's all a mitzvah!" "Can we do it standing up?" "NO, NO, NO!" cries the rabbi. "Why not?" asks the man. Rabbi answers: "Could lead to dancing." Together we stand, divided we fall |
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| robroy(נשלט) |
לפני 19 שנים •
22 באוק׳ 2004
A couple are going to have a baby. The woman's time comes, and as she is taken into the operating room, she calls he husband over and says to him:
"Honey, there's something I really have to tell you." "Can't this wait?" says the husband. "No," says the wife. "There is a very old tradition in my family that the oldest living male always gets to name any new children born to anyone in the family. That means my brother must name our children. I know this comes as a shock, but I couldn't tell you earlier, because I didn't want to upset you." "But, but ..." sputters the husband, "I *know* your brother that he is an Aggie. There's no question but that he'll mess this up!" "I'm sorry," says the wife, "but that's the way it has to be." Time is getting short, and not wanting to upset his wife any further, the husband finally relents. The blessed time comes, and to every one's surprise the mother gives birth to a set of healthy, beautiful twins, a boy and a girl. The father is, of course, delighted, but his happiness is tempered by the question he knows he must ask his wife. Finally he can put it off no longer. "Alright," he says, taking a deep breath, "What did your brother name our daughter?" "Denise," says the mother quietly. "Oh," says the surprised father. "That's a pretty name. Perhaps this won't be so bad after all. What did he name our son?" "Denephew," said the mother. |
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| Mistress Gatta |
לפני 19 שנים •
11 בנוב׳ 2004
italian american one....
Subject: FW: No Spikka Inglish
> > > > > >A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in > an > > >animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at > > >first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men > > >say the > > >following: > > > > > >"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come > > >once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and > pee > > >twice Then I come one lasta time." > > > > > >"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady > indignantly. > > >"In this Country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our > sex > > >lives...... " > > > > > >"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm > a > > >justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'." > > > > > >I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!!! |
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