llulu(נשלטת)
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לפני 19 שנים •
8 באוק׳ 2005
RED 3
RED part 3
" you know today is a special day today -right ? what we are going to do today is going to take from you strengths that you dont know about...you will find yourself alone ....facing yourself...and I will not be always there to protect you, to be with you..." and the more he was calmly moving his lips , the more i was fearing the challenge to come, alone, without Him, not him, abandoned, where? all these questions were roaming my mind at once. I knew He could see it in my eyes...the little animal starting to run around her tail....fearing the grip to come , fearing the unknown then, I started to try and cope....this is my natural instinct...how to manage...survival skill.... but as He was taking me in his car, I was already dragging my feet, half smiling, hiding with pride what had started to eat me slowly . questions again: was He to abandon me in the middle of nowhere? was he to leave me at once ? what was I suppose to confront..? I confess I was looking around to check if we were narrowing an open field where He woud leave me and tell me to manage... how did He know that my whole life was about avoiding this moment of total uncertainty, naked in the field ? no money, no phone, no nothing...stranded with these stupid sport shoes, too large for me...they were His...but i had to obey...I had put myself in his trail...and never was I to say :" no ...I dont want..." since I wanted.... |
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