My secret land

It's happening again.

The change in mood, the restlessness, the weight on my chest and the twisting of my stomach.

I hate this. I hate that I'm alone in this.

I don't really want anybody else in this.

I want to sleep. I want to sleep so bad and for so long. Forever if possible.

Just don't want anybody to hurt.

Don't want me to hurt either.

I don't know how to deal.

I mean, I do, I've been doing it all my life,

I just don't have the energy.

I'm sick, I'm tired, I want to be done.

I know why I can't be done, not yet,

I just resent it.