המתת השור

but I would pass it for paradise due
although when
I read these stories on total surrending
i feel that i want there
my mind cannot surrender to this rule
i am the one who looses
i am the one
everything
although i want it so hard
but as if the moment had not come
as if the person had not come
my play is to turn the table around
and flee in the midst of somewhere where i cannot be reached
indomitable female
although
i am the one who looses
the river is not a mere trickle
but mississipi river
large as the hip of women
to traverse it one day
it will take a slow more
a slow swim
through the qualms of surrender
what makes me so proud< ?
and what makes me so drawn
deep deep inside
towards immense
unconsciousness

i am a person of dreams
let me there floating in between
for ever not
i will wake up and shake the rule
my hard core is that of tremors
revolts and furor
beneath that
there is wht ?
it remains to be felt