המתת השור

5 years 52 years and 10days
how can one compare such an historical period with one's personal life ? unbearable
unthinkable poeple will be happy to say and judge without trying and read the honest reading of a simple person who has a tendencyin seeing other's destinies, personal and non personal, shifting from one perspective to other according to life's adaptability and sometimes immediate adaptability according to the immediate and present surrounding
well i watched d day by Spielberg - it is not the first time but everytime brings a little more according to what i am living at this present moment
this time it had to following to teach me and make me feel

there are times in life when one enters a
period of total war, on all fronts, with a very thin chance to survice
the issue was not physicaly here but mentally and financially
there were times these last years that i entered a total war again what was indeed - and the more i gain a sense of perspective the more i find it right and accurate - a total ennemy

no. i am not paranoid. this is what one can choose to believe when one deos not want to enter this sphere of ressenti
and fuck the ones that dare to claim that it was my own fault and that i faulted certainly.
this is the latest fashion : you can't blame them : blame youself !!! it does not work this way.
it is a sorry excuse of a manipulation to return the responsability on the very person in dire strait

war and total puts you in a situation where you enter a world of urgency, of distress, of fight and defeats, of petty victory and enormous sorrow,. it leaves naked completely only dressed in one's sensitive structure with a pure regard on life : total nakedness . total lucidity
it can be a glaze that puts life under its absolute purity and simpleness
it can be a glaze that will burn your eyes completely too
often, your gaze varires from not totally one to not totally the other

certain in life search for this kind of naked truth. consciousness at its maximality
i have tried all kinds of denials as we all do and all we should as denial protects from consciousness too brutally delivered to our fragile minds.

for those who survive a dday there comes a sense maybe of non questionabilty of why life is so harsh. it is harsh and you have to advance. full stop
this is the stage that i am living at this exact moment

a warning to my readers : i will be quite aggressive to those who donnot care to read with enough cautiousness to try and not through inepties at me back
everything is open to conversation and criticism/ as long as it comes from everything by arrogance
thank you