המתת השור

part one : riding a tiger פורסם לפני 6 שנים ב - 20 בספטמבר, 2006 בשעה 02:39Yesterday night, I had my second memorable bdsm interraction with a master from the TLVV area....yes ...now, it comes more natural to me to call my partner a Master

The main point though being that he sounded like an experience master, one practicly born with it, a natural. 
I know what happens generally with these males... they are not sure of what will do with this woman presenting child like sometimes characteristics....i ended up on his floor. 
...
it was my first with but plug, mouth restraint, servicing a little and brutal sex. The mise en bouche was not from the outright, in the cafe we met but when I enterred his territory. As I ment to sit myself comfortably on his coach, he set me on a plastic cone, barely large enough for half of my buttocks and trying to find my equilibrium on it. It was in fact an exercise in bellitling me right from the beginning, as i was obliged to gather myself within myself and reducing together with arms and legs the space that i finally had to take in the room. i was immediatly set to be this shrinking presence but as well like a spread of energy having to reduce into a space too small and be content with its narrow and pressuring resuls.... that would be anyway probably the two main sentations evident through this bdsm session. 


the first test of his "brutality" or rather a manifestation of his strict keeping an eye on me was when he kicked within the plastic cone i was attempting to sit and had "cheated" a little (according to his version) by bending a little forward. In a flash, he kicked it down and i found myself on the floor, looking at the face of a rather composed man turning into a hard facies. My hands touched the floor, my legs open with a still controled feeling within me. as I was cleaning my hands from the dust, evidently expressing a quiet criticism about the cleaniness of the place, he understood the hint right away and said : " it you do it again, you will be punished"! 

was still full clothed, full shoesed....soon enough came the order to undress....in front of him, staring him in the eye. This, was of course not unexpected, as it is a regular ceremony in these kinds of encounters ...but it is always a moment fill with stillness, timidity and gradual but swift uncovering towards nudity. He was staring at me and saying :" you are not shy" as i was realising that the main concern with Masters in the soul is often not the model like canon style model but the woman with her flaws giving up that first and foremost defence line. That rendered her sexy...not the golden harmony or not of her body. there lays the different values between bdsm and vanilla...her breasts are what they are, her hips are what they are, her cunt is what it is, the essential being that exposed them to Him and could not, in anyway, conceal a thing from Him anymore. I felt there, with my marks on the forehands and my breast (the little testimonies of a katyusha),       cecile justine Berecz‏ <cecilejustine.berecz@gmail.com‏> 03:50 (לפני 18 שעות)   Jeremy         רביעי - 20 ספטמבר 2006 riding a tiger part 2 פורסם לפני 6 שנים ב - 20 בספטמבר, 2006 בשעה 02:44He likes me .....caresses....that is why he starts with humiliation...
"present me your ass" 
"put your cheeck and your breast on the floor" forcing me to widen my buttock presentation, uncovering my anus
"spread your buttock" 
I obey ...why ? it is not painful ...yet...he watches me very close; looking in my ass as if I became something of an animal to be exposed...slowly but surely, i am leaving my status of elegant woman and turning me into an almost anonymous mass of flesh, now not only defenceless but unprotected in my most inner body parts. 
He has understood the transition. so he hits me with a cane. the hurting has started. i have started to fear the unexpected, wondering how far he will go as he is giving me more difficult and difficult missions in an increasing uncomfortable restrains...
For the first time ever, i am penetrated by a but plug, a huge one...
"it will hurt a little, you know ?!"...and it deos. I moan with pain and fear...now my increasingly present companions. His caresses have become rarities..he is turning me into a beast of pain and suffering now...step after step, adding to the pressure.Pressure in my ass as the butplug seems humongous, pressure of his fingers fondling within my vagina. he turns me on the back. i think relief ? no...I am to stay with legs wide apart, feet not touching the side of the bed; my flesh mass is starting to weigh on me 
"you see, a slave is too stay with legs apart for a long long time...you have to get fitter for your Master...other wise, you are of no use bitch !"
an insult fuses here and there. He has called me Baby too...strangely, I am starting a trip back into time
when I am on my back, legs trembling uncotrollably, closing my eyes, getting there, into stress, into space; into another realm. He pleasures me, pushes in the but plug, discovers my clitoris....massaging it solftely, pushing again the plug within with the feet and speaking to me 
" mmm...you are wet now" completing his words with an intruding movement within me...pleasure and pain are entetwined now, sticking to fear
"if my whip is falling from your legs, i will punish you"...says he uncompromissely
I believe him now, every word uttered by his mouth is a potential promise of pain or bliss...
he caresses my lips, every single part of my sexual apparatus...nothing escapes his attention. 
A intermission is always followed by another instrument of challenge introduced to me. He disappears for a moment, giving the order not to move and comes back with something hidden within his hand...me wondering what...
"look at my eyes": "look at me "...i am glassless but i gaze intensily within his eyes... I don't want to give up...I have still the strength of organizing my resistance. 

so the mouth restraint is introduced within my mouth. my first time. I have dreamed for this moment, fantasized about it...but now, this instrument is a forcing element, raping my jaw open. I have a petite face. I know it...it is installed behind my teeth. I can barely utter a sound. Now, the capacity of verbal expression is taken away from me. 

He takes a rope in a noose and ties it around my waist, tightly. i am loosing my breath for a moment. fear. how far ? why ? do i need that ? i came to look for pleasure, relief, forgetfulness. I am encountering a executer hand, a restrainer, a Master. He is not my lover, he is my user and I am used now. no doubt.

I am not naked anymore... i am closed with a tight rope surrounding my waist and closely set on my vagina and bottom, a outfit of restraint with a tail at the end for Him to take me to his whims...to his orders...
why do i obey? why do i go on with this torture ? I don't know really... but what i know is that i have no more strength to tell him no, and no more strength to offer resistance. I am so weak that i fall into what he will call "rapture" . .        cecile justine Berecz‏ <cecilejustine.berecz@gmail.com‏> 03:53 (לפני 18 שעות)   Jeremy         רביעי - 20 ספטמבר 2006 the death of a bull : last part פורסם לפני 6 שנים ב - 20 בספטמבר, 2006 בשעה 02:54the pain brings it the past for a moment and tares it into pieces like in the jaws of a tiger I am completely in the instant now, under His hand, wondering what will be the next step, when he will stop, ? but I don't stop. I don't want anything. I am powerless and immobilized. I am an added entity of ackes and helplessness, even forgetting the doubts now; a bull cornered, exhausted, beaten, vanquished, surrendered...he has added the last instrument of ownership on my breasts and the chains on the nipples are hurting so much...I cry, I moan, i beg....but I don't stop. do you remember Carmen when she is going to be given the coup de grace, her eyes full of despair but calm and accepting the judgement knife? that was me at that moment. . 
My eyes are half closed at moment. I am waiting for his last gesture : deliverance or execution but i hear his voice in my calm defeat and i follow his voice...when he utters one of the most beautful sentence intended for a woman... 
"Baby, now, you are so beautiful" says he when he sits up and looks at me, on all four, on the sofa, with the ropes penetrating the flesh, the chains on the nipple creating this metal rings and my hair tied upwards. my mouth open cannot contain the saliva...I dribble like a wounded bull, when they are taken last by the sword....but I am not even furious...all feelings are fleeting away from me but this feeling of surrendering. Resistance is now a word belonging to the past. 

He will take me at that stage...brutally, sexually, doggy style...I don't even enjoy the penetration of his too wide penis... I am his beast of satisfaction. i ask for no more, not love, not tenderness...relief... I am clean of willingness, expectations, wants and wims...he has mastered me through pain and surprise, escalation and relief, caress and hits of the cane, emprisonning me in a cage of restricting sensations, filled within my self, filled by him, narrow like avirgin, again, a 17 year old.