המתת השור

I met a man who would become of some importance in my life, a lot more than what I would hve chosen him to be.

a Parisian of 36 years old, I met him through flife.... he went after me in quite an irregular fashion but a resolute one. I could see he was attracted to me like moth to the fire..but then, i could not care less...i was living with my sister and i was in deep shit...

my body was acking from the malarias i got myself in Africa. I was penny less, job less...my sister was behaving like the queen of england : ready to behead me at the first occasion...and on top of that, my last deniers were spend at medications for me and feeding myself ...and her !

Her house, a magnificent three storey bourgeois building was too small for the two of us obviously and I was really on the way, whatever I had to do...and do I had a lot ...I had to rebuild it all...after 33 years on my own, far from the crab basket of my family...

so i was still pursuing my old bad habbits, that is to answer to the sollicitation of men although i was in such a crappy mood...and make pictures of me, back from Africa with my new long hair and my white and pearly skin.

at the beginning you know, all seems to go according to the right direction : he persuing me and not the other way round...

thus it should be no ? this attention one craves out of ....this female craves at...he seemed so engulfed in me..although never so very persistant.

at the beginning too, the gf was suppose to leave the flat. i even suggested that meeting for a pleasurable encounter when she was around was not the best of ideas and that could chock the little soul...

how adorable was I with this lost soul. how a foul probably was I...after all these were not my affairs..why should I care...

I even missed one or two appointements with him... he even noticed that I did not care to tell him that I would not come and that I was suppose to come.. He ! did not forget our appointement, at first...it was going the right direction : he caring and me not giving a shit...

I was there busy with other plans...the situation at my sister's got worse and worse... never had I felt so rejected after I had done everything for her for the last 30 years when I tended every little winker she had to get through...she did not throw me away from her house. she said it clearly;...but she made sure that from morning till evening, most of the time, i was not a welcomed guest...

so I had to go away from this lost petit village before I beheaded my sister and lost a frienship and a love as hight as the yosemite trees, and I took the first opportunity... i fled to the appartment of a connaissance in the vicinity of Paris... i took a huge chance, and a chance it was...

as soon as I closed my heavy luggage, taking the road again, smiling came back to my sister's mouth in my presence..

she was even able to laugh a little ...as she took me to the railway station. it was as if the sun was rising again between the two entities that we were once : a family tie up till the end of our mutual lifes...until I realised that she did not want me anymore in her life...