סקיצות מחיים דיספונקציונליים

You came to me, and I was so happy, thrilled,
Two years I waited. Two years.
I did all the things I wanted to do to you, with you
I still feel a quiver when I remember
You and me in bed together,
your amazing kisses. The way you touch.
It all comes back to me, in my head,
like an erotic movie, again, and again, I watch.
The touch of your soft skin,
I imagined how it would be,
But it was ten times better in reality.
The smell of your body, so clean, like fresh cold milk
that’s the only way I can describe it.
You detest milk. And yet this is how you smell. Delicious.
The smell of your hair, it’s now long gone from my pillow.
But your demons were many.
More than I imagined.
You were way more wounded than me.
You said the thing you wanted the most was a relationship.
But you also said that sometimes you cannot take a good thing that is right in front of you
You do not allow yourself. You fear it.
You fear me, my intensity.
You were drawn to me,
But you always pulled back eventually.
You came and went suddenly.
Your inner currents, storms, took you away from me.
You said that the shadow of my previous relationship was too great,
it was looming over you and me.
Yes you were right.
When you came to me that night.
And you said that you cannot do it anymore,
I needed time to heal from him,
to clear my system, to clear my head.
“maybe sometime in the future” you said
and I know you were right- I cannot plug him out, and plug you right in instead.
But still I argued, disagreed, haggled. I did all I needed to do.
To not forever lose you.
I said- tell me when in the future? (By then I will do what I need to do,)
I will clear my system,
I want my next relationship to be with you.
-A month.
-A month?!