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I write to gain clarity.
Pain
Pleasure
All in between
Yet I feel
Nothing.
I write to escape
Pain to give
Pain to recieve
Each strike sends me
Closer
To the oblivion
Of
Nothing.
I write to express
My pain
My desire
Yet
I have none
I want to curl up
Cry
The words of silence
Ive been here for 10 years
Well the world has changed
I have changed
My family has changed
It got bigger, better and beautiful
But how
I had an identity ... I was the jewish girl
Now Im the British girl
Guess what
Im still the kinky girl
You wont need my words...just feel my pussy grinding on your hand
You wont need my words...just hear my heart beating faster
You wont need my words...just look into my eyes
You wont need my words...just smell my desire
A blowjob
Cock worship
While drinking beer
And
Watching football
I always thought it was so
Glad i made it come true for you
It was much fun
Its been forged in a reality of actions and reactions.
Im too Jewish to be British. Im too British to be Israeli. Yet im all of those things.
Dont get me wrong, I really am proud and happy to live in Israel. There are no utopias. Just places we create for our pleasure.
In years gone by I connected to the prayers of Yom Hatazmaut. I like the tunes, the rythm and the dancing. I danced a little and then was overwhelmed by disconnect.
Sometimes i am lost
Today I am little girl lost.( In the sense of William Blakes poem. Little Girl Lost.)
I feel like Lyca on her journey through innocence navigating the wild desert.
Yet I am far from innocent.
Im hoping to meet a Lion who crys ruby tears.
Unlikly pairing are a theme.
There is a sequal. Little Girl Found.
Where can Lyca sleep? This is the question
Every year memories get triggered and I hope our collective memories keep us strong and united.
Im not young and have been here a decade and what i know is everything here is closely connected. I hope the people who Im writing about are either not on this site or can't identify themselves. If you are please forgive me.
Some things are a theme
I was young. Not innocent but somewhat naive. He is a lot older than me.
After a lot of flirting I went back to his house and sex was going to happen. He was tall and muscular with rather sad blue eyes. They were twinkling that night. Before too long i was topless and straddling him. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my panties. For someone full of desire he was rather shy. For someone who brought me to orgasm sucking and kissing my tits he was shy. He'd pursued me with confidence...yet as i peeled his top off I saw the lacerations, scars and bullet wounds that decorated his skin. His permenant medals and reminders of the kids under his command who he saved and those he could not save.
My reaction to his scars changed the atmosphere.
He knew Id pause
He knew Id stare
He wanted to tell me how he got those scars.
As listened lust turned into compassion
Sex happened...it was comfort.
The trauma this country carries is everwhere. Everyone deals with that in thier own way. To connect...disconnect or never to connect.
We should comfort each other( not just with sex- but it helps xx) I have sucked enough cock to know it helps on some level. Im not so naive that I would say its a solution.
Remember those who have given the ultimate sacrifice. Remember those amongst us who have lost something along the way. They might be next to you on the bus, they might be anywhere, they might be you.
Be kind
Be united
You just never know...
Xxx
Once upon a dream I knew
Once or twice in reality
It was there
Vicereal
Have I had it all
Was it enough
Yes there is a hunger gnawing in my core
Im watching the men I love
Ive loved them for years
I love them with a passion
Yet
They let me down. They play with my heart
Im loyal. Eventhough the line up has changed over the years they are mine.
I love them when they lose too
They have caused me so much pain
Last year i felt joys and exctacy in ways i never knew
Do i hope too much
Yet the worlds changed. Maybe Its not so important any more
Nahhhh.
But these 11 men and the everchanging line up have taught me how to love
Question:
Have you woken up and your partner is masterbating.
If so do you
A: Ignore it and pretend to be asleep
B: Love watching them and enjoy the spectacle
C: Join in-start masterbating
D: Take over and make them cum
Or
All of the above
Don't tell me you love me
It wont get you very far
Dont tell me Ill be yours
It wont make me submit
Dont promise me the earth
Because the cloud rain thick
Im not a fantasy
Im born of dark thoughts
Created and formed
By desire
By need
I live in the here
The now keeps me alive
Pushed on by passion
Imprinted deep inside
Bubbling and simmering
Its there all the time
Ignited by touch
When it happens
Worlds collide
Mountains move
In an eruptions
That ebbs and flows
With devotion
Emotion
In an after glow
