When i look back lets say 4-5 months ago or even less, i can almost feel and taste my fears. I can still touch them, if i so do wish. There is no legitimate reason to these fears. i call them prehistoric fears. These Fears have originated from all past experiences, from the time before i met my Master. There is no actual reason to feel them now, but they are still a part of me, & it will take good time to shake them off me.
Does He love me? – i know He does.
Am i an important part of His life? – i know i am.
Will He be there when i’ll need Him? – i know He will, & He was already there for me in the past.
Can i trust Him with my deepest secrets? i know i can, but i still don’t feel real free, to do so, i guess these things just take their own sweet time.
Is there a war inside me? Sometime.
i usually win it 😄 although rarely with some casualties.
I seldom feel the bitter sting of jealousy, which i will be the first to admit it is most stupid.
Sometimes i know i dream of things i may never have with this Man, my Master that i do so love. The thing is, i want them ever so badly, i want them with Him, & no other. It will be pointless & tasteless & meaningless with anyone else but Him.
With all of the above said i can tell you that i have never felt as happy, & as complete, as fulfilled & satisfied. i have never felt so blissful
לפני 15 שנים. 13 במרץ 2009 בשעה 8:39