לפני 14 שנים. 1 בדצמבר 2009 בשעה 12:33
I see him today.
The time between meetings seems to drag and fly by alternately -- depending on my mood, the quantity of work I have to do, and how the world immediately around me is spinning at any particular moment.
I try to update here with the sparkles of joy that emanate from me after we meet, but I am sometimes somewhat tardy. Know, however, that I leave his embrace only to walk on air. Sub-space has nothing on how I feel. There are not enough words of a sufficient calibre to describe it -- and I speak as one to whom words are bread and meat, blood and air, sustenance and breath.
The excitement of the build-up begins to increase exponentially around noon. Four hours until... three hours until... Idly i flip through the pages on the site looking for something to catch my attention and refocus myself. I work listlessly, or on occasion frantically -- determined to leave the rest of my life nehind me so that my whole being is focused on him, on he and I... on us.
From the moment the door closes, and it is just us in the room, I'm in a different place altogether. Despite my external, bouncy and excited demeanour, I am solemn and focused on the inside. It's time for that thing, that ritual ceremony to happen.
I take this ritual very seriously. It heralds the start of every session, and for me, it's like passing through a mental gateway. I remove my clothing, and then kneel before him, naked and shyly smiling. He fastens my collar around my neck, and holds me close to him, breathing in my smell as I breathe in his. When we are apart, he misses me too, a lot. I am constantly gratified and touched by how he never fails to demonstrate this to me, physically, vocally and mentally. He enquires how I am, and I know that he means now, this second, with my every sense engulfed in the very essence of him, knowing how different it is from the day-to-day, and delighting in my enjoyment of my submission.
And this is how the it starts, and how this piece ends.
I quote the late great Jim Morrison:
"Ladies and gentlemen, the ceremony is about to begin."
