לפני 13 שנים. 12 בספטמבר 2011 בשעה 7:32
The patterns of behavior begin in the schoolyard, and it's there they should be fixed, or at the very least, remain.
This tendency that we have -- we, women and men, although in my experience, it's often women who take it to the next level -- to gang up on and isolate one who doesn't fit in, who did something "unpopular" -- or worse, hurt one of the Beautiful People -- is unacceptable and just evil.
My poor daughter suffers regularly at the hands of an cruel little bitch whose mother referred to her (my daughter) in the comfort of her own home as a "mefageret". Clearly, this 30+ year old has maturity issues of her own. But as a result of this home schooling, there is constant tension between the two girls, and I am regularly on the receiving end of a tearful phone call from my daughter, crying that this other child has put her into "cherem". This child is not unfixable, but with the atmosphere that her mother has apparently created, it's unlikely that she sees herself as doing anything wrong. This Israeli tendency (not all, but some) of "magiya li", and "why shouldn't I?" is repulsive in the extreme when you're on the receiving end of heartbroken weeping from the light of your heart.
No one says that everyone has to like everyone else. What I am saying is that you can own your own decision without dragging other people into it. And even if they drag themselves in of their own free will, seeing it as some misguided kind of loyalty, it's not an appropriate way to behave. It is no way loyal to act in an unpleasant manner to someone else, and use that someone else as a shield behind which to hide your own motives of insecurity and lack of self-worth, which are what prompt you to belittle another. It's bullying, pure and simple -- and it's completely unacceptable.
The submissive community is riddled with this kind of pathetic behavior and frankly, I've had enough. I don't have to like everyone I meet, and I would be surprised if everyone I met liked me. But the ganging up, and the bullying, and the unnecessary bitchiness and the pathetic name-calling -- isn't it time we stepped out of the school yard and into full-grown adulthood? If we're old enough to determine our own sexual wants, needs and desires, then we need to collectively put on our big girl panties, and start acting like the adults that our ages would identify us as being.
I think you know what I mean.
