לפני 14 שנים. 19 בפברואר 2010 בשעה 4:24
this one is written on the go, via opera mobile so excuse the english and limited editing capabilities.
so i am starting this post at 5am. i have yet to determine if it is 5am in the morning of the rest of my life or 5am in the conclusion of the night of my yester life. many things happened in the last year that accumulated to this critical moment which is by all means the turning point of my life.
i am a great people motivator and have taken listening up to a form of art, which undoubtingly crowns me as the most cunning mental master alive, and boy can i get a person going when i set my mind to it. usually i dont even try to benefit from these skills right away, like a typical pleasure delayer. but i am naive and always believe my pleasure will come, my hungers will be satisfied. so i delay, and i bite my tounge and stay put, cold as ice and rock solid.
my satisfaction is a sadistic temptress, taunting and teasing, dances naked for me and breathes close to my heart making me feel how tangible she is and within my grasp only to blink out of existence when i pathetically reach for her. but i am her gullable and hopeless romantic, and i stay put and i dont budge and i dont dare indulge myself, my reward will come, but my life is passing by while i sit and wait...
tonight i motivated a girl i dont even know to indulge herself. it was a nonsense conversation about nothing as if taken from a seinfeld episode, that ended with her hopping on her feet at 4:30 in her morning to go out for some small but oh so meaningful culinary pleasure i got her going about. as i observe this, i ask myself: what about me? when am i up for getting me some? and than i said: no more.
so i sat at home for 10 minutes in my yester life and for the 1st time after a long while i went 'mental' on my own self. i prepaired that pill i always shove down other people's throat and force fed it to myself at last.
here i am in one my favorate spots in tlv after a bowl of brasserie's divine rice pudding and a cup of english breakfast tea with lemon, listening to a beautiful cover song by some girl with an angelical voice about how wild horses couldn't take her away, and reading the fresh weekend papers.
the sun is up, it's 30 minutes past 6 in the morning of the rest of my life.
