כתבתי את זה פעם
נדמה לי שגברים צריכים להבין את זה
ולו רק בגלל החרדה משפיכה מוקדמת
ומה אישה תחשוב לעצמה...?
איזה פארש אני, איזה פאדיחות אתי, אף פעם ככה לא קרה לי.... ווף
ובכן, אישה כמוני למשל?
ואני רואה בעצמי אישה אכבר אישה
שבין השאר גם מחוברת לטבע המיני שלה
תראה את זה כדבר טבעי לאללה
ותכלס כמחמאה די גדולה
אני מדברת על ההתחלה.
ובכלל, זה קורה. זו התרגשות. מה רע?
גבר עלול לגמור מאוד מהר
ואישה עלולה לא להצליח לגמור בכלל
אין מקום להיות מדבר כזה מתוסכל.
[עוד על הפרק: אפילו חובבי ז'אנר סרטי האימה וויל גט סיריאסלי ספוקד אם הם ישמעו כמה זמן לא עשיתי סקס עם אף אחד מלבד עצמי]
Two types of men can make a lady have a really hard time reaching an orgasm on first sexual encounter:
First type is the type we somehow find in our bed yet not sure how he got there…
or WHY (??????)
He's the rock bottom type,
making us feel desperate and lonely.
"This is not my man", we think to ourselves.
Nothing about this man turns us on,
he's a constant reminder we really should take some quality time for ourselves and find a real man.
He's a walking vibrator, low on batteries – technical, cold, obedient, lacks self imagination, takes himself way too seriously, boring…
Hell, we think,
maybe it is time to dust out the old vibrator and give this man a kick, have ourselves a real party...
Nothing about this man turns us on.
The only thing he's good at is reminding us it's time to bite off our nails, wear nothing but sneakers for two months and run a few extra miles every day.
As far away from him as we can!
This type is so boring we want to kill ourselves.
Nothing about him works for us.
He's a total downer.
Worst case scenario with this type:
We stop him in the middle of (not much of) the action, saying
"This is all way too technical for me man, whatever it is you think your doing, please… just STOP!"
(in the name of love...)
How did we ever find ourselves in bed with this boring, mediocre, absolutely no fun to hang around man?
Aaaaaahhhhh…
Second type of man….
He's the type that really turns us on.
I mean massively.
We love this man.
There is nothing technical or boring about him,
not even one mediocre bone in his hot body,
not even one predictable vibration in his soul.
He makes us feel very much ALIVE,
we want to explore this man's sexuality for the rest of eternities,
we fantasize about massive orgasmic explosions we shower this man with for the rest of all times.
Whatever it is he's doing, we never want him to stop…
Hell, from him?
We want it morning, noon and night.
We're totally spacing out,
we're running a marathon against orgasm.
Cumming with him is like tasting a forbidden fruit,
a moment before getting kicked out of heaven.
There is no limit to the sexual climaxes we could have with this guy.
It stresses us out, doesn't it ladies?
Worst case scenario with this type:
He's stressed out by the intensity,
leaving us alone,
not giving it to us anymore,
massively increasing our daily masturbation dosage and sexual fantasies, turning us a little bit crazier than we already were, going into bed with first type of man, biting our nails off and running way too many extra miles every day towards his constantly mind haunting shadow.
Then again, us women,
we got all sorts and kinds of orgasms.
Upper ones, lower ones, short ones, loooong ones, frontal ones, rear ones, wet ones, even wetter ones, a lot wetter ones, showering wet ones…. Oooooofffffff whole kinds of ones we got, I tell ya….
Men have more than one type as well. The lucky ones can tell you.
But that's kinda out of the point now.
First type of man is a safe road to nowhere.
Second type of man is a dangerous trip to our entire orgasmic repertoire,
and then some…
First type of man is really easy to come by.
But seriously,
a man like him hardly ever finds himself in our warm bed and he's really lucky if he ever does,
he's a living proof to the fact timing is everything.
He just happend to be at the right place, at the right time.
Second type of man is a one in a million, rare to come by.
We find him and soon enough the shit starts to hit the fan,
doesn't it ladies?
But you know what?
He really is the luckiest son of a gun walking around.
Isn't he ladies?