Gaja

Irony is the fact that my "loving" husband would love to be my Master
Irony is the fact that whatever he asks me to do, i dont do
he has no idea that i have a Master, he has an inckling that i have a lover,
if he ever found out, i think he would surely leave me, and maybe try and take my kids
he is full of double standards.....
i wonder why i could never submit to him, even in the begining....
maybe i never loved him enough, maybe he never knew how to ask....

the point is, how do i continue this coexistence?
i know there are a lot of people who lead double lives, and it works for them, for me its difficult.... i need to be free
and i dont mean from my kids, they are my reason for living, they always come first

is it something in our genes that makes us different? my father cheated on my mother and eventually left us, my sister cheats on her husband, so do i....
once my husband and i had a huge argument and he said that i was just like my father.. i was very hurt, but there is truth there i guess

and what is cheating?
having sex with another person, and maybe just opening your heart to another person
sins of the flesh, or of the mind