it has gone so wrong. our friendship was speeding to a terrible collision - it is entirely my fault.
from the start you told me what you want and need. and it was a wonderfull start - full of passion and discovery and a connection like I never had.
And I fell in love - inspite of everything. I went and fell so deeply inlove. I loved you so much it ate my heart. It was one sides - unrequird love - or maybe cursed feeling?
You told me not to do so - tried to keep me at arms legnth - but it was not possible with someone like me that feels so much more than others. When I fall I do not merely stumble - I crash.
Everyone warned me - you most of all - it only made me love you more. But you distanced yourself from me - I have felt it for a while - and it devistated me - splintered my heart and send poison running through my veins.
And like every human emotion - love turns into insecurity turns into jeleousy and finally anger.
And like every emotion I possess - each emotion tears me apart sends my soul to try and fend by itself in a terrible tzumani of pain.
I loved you - and did not ask for you to love me back. I just wanted you to not leave me - the fear of losing you turned my brain into a monster.
I have hurt you and betrayed your trust - There is no excuse. I have brought it all on myself
the heart-ache. the obbessive thoughts. the fear and axeity, the pain. so much pain
I hope you will one day find it in your heart to forgive me. All I wanted was to love you
