כתבתי את זה עכשיו, כתוגבה לפוסט שכותרתו:
You're Not Good Enough. The Artist's Demon.ואני פתאום מגלה שעוד שנה עברה, ואני עשר שנים בלי הקול שלך פיזית בחיי.
ובכול זאת, אתה כאן.
השנה אניחושב שהיית מאוד גאה בי ומאוד כועס עלי.
אני מתגעגע.
I hear you, yet I want to point its the thinking men (or women) curse, that little demon speaks to me as I finish every fucking design, solve every problem laid out to me, "you know you could have done better".
Engineering has tests to show you, that you did fucking good, yet even as they conclude these tests, to the happy response of all people that matter, clients and evaluators of any sort, partners and collaborators, investors and employees. I go home and think "well, you could have done better".
At the best times, my old mentor, who passed away ten years ago, is right there following that voice, chuckling in that NY bass voice, going like "but you go better kid".
At these times, I think of those end scenes in star wars, "Yoda and Anakin" speak to young Luke, I think of of those two voices, and I smile and start a new project knowing, I just might make it good enough to hear myself think, "that was OK, I got better, I will do better next time".
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