רוך וקושי

So before crossing the point of no return and risking the potential messiness, confusion, feelings of regret and wounding that can ensue following a less than conscious or less than enthusiastically chosen sexual union:
Connect with yourself and feel into what's most important and true.
Be sure other has connected with their self and has felt into what's most important and true.
Connect with each other about what's most important and true.
Get clear on each other's desires and expectations.
Get clear on what you're both available for and open to going forward and NOT available for and open to going forward.
Get clear on birth control and/or STI status.
Is this a really big deal or holding a lot of meaning for one and not the other?
Is someone buzzed, drunk, high, on plant or synthetic medicines?
Are you experiencing a workshop or retreat high or in a context that's distorting boundaries?
Are you in a therapeutic relationship or is one of you in a position of authority or power over the other?
Is someone lonely, vulnerable or disconnected in any way from their boundaries and sense of inner authority?
Is the power of your desire or biology causing you to disconnect from or disregard the well-being of other?
Could getting together potentially bleed out into your personal, familial, social or business ecosystems and cause harm?
REALLY feel into and talk about things.
Get on the same page and make damned sure you're both clean, clear, top-to-bottom, inside-out yeses and that those yeses are coming from an empowered and life-affirming place.
And if you're both outward yeses, yet something still feels off when feeling beneath the surface of things, even 1% off, assume that 1% is extremely important and lovingly bow out.
Be a grown-up.
This may seem unsexy AND there aren't many things more unsexy than ignoring your truth, having poor boundaries, disregarding your self-care and engaging sexually with someone you shouldn't.
Even worse, engaging sexually with someone who's in a compromised, confused or disempowered state.
Conversely, there aren't many things sexier than two crystal-clear, fully-empowered humans in service of one another's integrity and well-being (as well as the integrity and well-being of those around them) exploring and sharing their bodies and the gift of being alive with one another.
Our bodies can be extraordinary playgrounds and to play fully and play well we have to do so in nourishing and sustainable ways that honor ourselves as well as the well-being of others.