My secret land

I'm making rash and active decisions, impulsive and stupid ones, dangerous ones, destructive once. 

It never ends well, I hurt the people that care about me.

I hate when negative emotions I thought didn't exist grow so strong they move me to action. Brief and remorseful as it was.

I hate this fog I'm in and yet I love it so much I prolong it again and again.

I hope I'll catch it in time. I hope I won't.