המתת השור

i can say that i have been suffering quite a lot since the very beginning and up to this very last day
i have tried to keep an open heart ...i have tried not to become bitter
but i think that i have had it and that i am reaching the end of my rope

i dont know why for some people life is better than other's ...at least so it seems
i tend to believe what i see on tv i guess

but the most difficult i must say is when you tell somebody that you dont love him anymore
he just deos not seem to understand and i am waiting for it to sink in
and i know the choc and afterchoc of this kind of words,

some understand quick
some dont understand it all
and i have had to share my passage with this kind of men
why ? i dont know
i wish it could have been different

i seem - besides having been blessed with paculiar gifts
that i have not been blessed with the gift of love
how to love others
or myself maybe
if it means anything to anybody
at all
i will not bare children to this world
this is my first time death
and i have had to deal with it
alone as usual
and it seems that the only person who seemed to understand this
up close and closer
in a young man that is destined to be hurt by me

is there any logic to all that ?