המתת השור

i can never trust again
maybe i put these photographs to push people away
the tragedy starts to sink in
i am going to bed
i went so far to keep him
so far until my heart torn in a thunder
i can never love again
and it is so much not true
there must something else than just suffering and loneliness
he tried to tell me but he could not hold his promise
all what i wanted was just a bit of love
no wonder i was so attracted so long agoby Gurre Lieder and Tristant and Yseult
Wagner wrote in 1886 his last opera
it took him by the way 30 years to achieve it
Parsifal
i did not know it was his last opera
but i found in it such a strange beauty
and then i read about it
"i could never reconciliate between reality and ideal " he used to to say to his wife Cosima
i think i am the same