המתת השור

with all my strength
I resisted with all my heart
but finally, I could not do anything but fall in love with him.
I feel the space in me now
I did all what could be done
I said all what could be told
to get him away from me
but finally, i could not do anything but fall in love
and surrender to this
Is it the true love ?
I have loved many times in my life
and then, it had disappeared with time
when i look back in the past
I see all these figures in my life
who passed through
in an out
and I wonder How could I ?
Steps towards This ?
is it no more ?
a scale to this sky
this immense space opening within ?
Yes....
when i look in the past, they are all shadows that lighted my heart for a moment
and then disappeared
after long battles given
after crushing nigths and days of fights

but today, i love them not
they are gone for ever
How could I ?
when love i did not know

He had to forgive me once
once only for the boat to go out in the seas
and go around the world
universe inside we are
once opened, hesitantly the doors let a bit of the perfume in
and then the cry for space comes in and attracts us out
out there

He had to let me discover that
a heart he did have
a tender, human pulses through his chest
for me to just open my eyes in awe
and surrender weapons
all of them

for what is domination after all
if not this deep desire to surrender to another
if not just to let go
let go truly
entirely
from the bottom of my soul

I resisted for long
too long
40 years +
as he says
but then finally did i surrender
to no dream
to no hope
no idea no lie
to Him
for Love
only

It might be for one night
one eternity only
after all, he is the stars ....i am the earth
my anchor is deep there sinking with the roots
of a tree slowly growing inward, deeper a little every day
when he flies
i am here
holding his hand
not to hinder his liberty
in any way
that would be clipping his wings
hiding not even a corner of the sky
how could I ?
his stars are my flowers
we spread are spiritual spread and flourish through different growns
he grows in the dark of the night
in the mystery of universe
in the neverending wonder of creation
i underneath watch hover
like watching a balloon playing with the winds
and we do meet there
somewhere
miraculously
from both ends
because we love

there is nothing more than love in our miserable life
it is our immense priviledge
to outstreche naked
completely
open our arms like the branches of the trees
and swallow endlessly
the immense space of emotions
of love
only that is important
nothing less
nothing more
and the more i grow old
the more i grow on love
all else is a mere scratch on the sand
condemened to disappearance

a passing light
rendered shining by this inner brightness
a feeling
the feeling
for the other
This Other