Sweet surrender

Life.
What a wild and crazy paths it takes us.
For the last couple of months my life has taken me on a very winding road.
Form near insainity, to total despair. I wish that I could say that I had some extreme highs, but mostly I only saw the extreme lows.
During this time, I experienced the one of the worst nightmares that a mother can experience.
My child was diagnosed with a very unpleasant disease. It is chronic and it is here to stay. It is a part of her now as much as it is a part of me.
There are no words that can explain what I feel inside. I try to be positive and deep down I know that we will learn to live with it and everything will be all right. It's just that now all I feel is dreadfully helpless, because I can't make it go away. Knowing that she needs me to be strong and optimistic has put the rest of my shit into proportion. Ans boy do I have a load of shit on my plate right now.
I often right about how I am blessed to have Master in my life. During this period, I saw that he was the only voice of reason through the screams of insainity. He allowed me to vent and cry and say things that made no sense. He listened, he heard, and then he guided and calmed me down. He has been my rock. He is real, and few are fortunate to have something real in their lives.
My heart is heavy from worries for what the future holds for my precious little girl, but I also know that I have no choice but to be strong. It is not an option, but a calling. Same as when I decide to create her. A calling.