המקלידן מתלאביב

Fair warning, the cobweb on my ENG keyboard is as thick and heavy as my next load. - End of disclaimer. 

Quite the headline, I agree. 

I won't be going into this too deeply right now though, each sentence is a struggle. Writing from within yourself is rather different than writing commissioned work and other similar projects. Not sure what is about to surface in this post, but I feel like I will be revisiting this subject as I pluck along. 

As a dysthymic kid, fuck knows why, honestly, the idea of God seemed like yet another rather poorly spun kid's tale to me. I mean, it had it all didn't it? Stories of superhuman strength and abilities, magical beings doing their magical things to mere humans, intricate escapades that meant to teach us a lesson about the human condition and how small, insignificant and separated from God we silly humans are. 

Growing up in a undiagnosed haze of dysthymia as a child and as a young adult, I think, and feel, wired my brain somewhat in a different direction than "normal" people. Everything you I got to witness back then was distorted, sometimes only slightly, but it was unmistakably there. I think the epitome of my disconnect with God was in my early and mid 20's, such glaring times of wisdom, good decision making and choices that were made. Marriage, a child, a move to a foreign country. HA. The aftermath of the events that unfolded around those years can and still is, felt to this day. 

But. There can be no evil without the good, right?  Those years have driven me to explore many different types of ways of "dealing" with shit. Which eventually led me to start trying to make better decisions. 

I'm tired, y'all.

Looks like this might become a series. Haven't gotten anywhere yet 😐🤷‍♂️