ניצוצות

lost, again.
again i find my self at bed with a woman i cant touch.
the same feeling i felt than, once upon a time. 8th grade? we were flirting with each other for several monthes and without realizing i want to touch her, she told me she was not into me, not like that.

what do i want? a husband? a wife? a cat ( well anotherone is a good concept)

why each time im with a woman my rebound is a guy?
why when i am so peacful eating her (whomever that might be) cunt, so peacfully. i have to freak out when i find out it's so so good... and of me go with a guy.

i wish she would have stayed. and that what would be the damage.

all of you who think its so easy to be gay, well it's not
not for me
not even if its my nature

i hate guys yet keep looking