סקיצות מחיים דיספונקציונליים

I steal a few minutes to write of you, before a long barren weekend begins. I came back from a long vacation, and again like before I am cruising this little town. On one axis they all are: my house and yours only a mile apart. We shop at the same grocery store, we go to the same gym. (I met you there once). All on the same axis. And of course work and school, where I write my research and where you teach. I am not a stalker. I never come when you teach. I come in the afternoons. So I shop a lot for groceries and exercise a lot, and write. And I will not lie, I turn my head a little to look at your house when I drive by. Though this city is small, we don’t meet much by chance. I keep hoping you will pass by school now and ask what is it that I am doing in the computer lab like you did once. “I am writing in my secret blog” I will then tell you, or not. I might lie and say that my internet is not working so I stopped by after gym to check my mail.
P, as in pathetic, I know,
I need my dose of you, I came back and all I got is a quick “hi-how are you-fine-and you?-fine.” We were again hurrying each to our own direction, and that was that. That was all. I miss that feeling of being high on drugs that I feel after meeting with you, wired, like someone connected me to the socket and charged with energy. Like cocaine but better. I snorted one line of cocaine in my life. I was offered it at a party where you were. You were talking to my good master and I was anxious as hell, and went down, was offered a line and took it eagerly. The two of you talking so politely, that was too much for my shaky nerves. Life imitates bad art.
So this is all I get. How are you.
After three weeks, after we had a meeting before I left, that was oh so like a date, even more then the other one. A long odyssey into the night it was. It started when you said you are in a hurry and I asked if you were taking your girlfriend to dinner. Of course classily you did not respond to this. It was Friday night, people begun going out, the coffee shops were full, you offered me your coat and that we sit outside. I politely refused. Then after landing in a dark coffee shop where there was no room available we sat in the dimly lit quiet hallway in that old building for consultation and coffee. and unless I am totally delusional the transference was smoldering. After we finished talking and smoked together, you were not in a hurry anymore.
So this is it, Hi how are you. That is all I get till next week. Enough to make me crazy again. I would take you any day. I would take you a thousand and one nights (straight)
Hope you have been well.