שבת שלום אורח/ת
עכשיו בכלוב

Story of the bee

Musings of a busy mind
לפני 11 חודשים. 13 ביולי 2023 בשעה 13:56

What is a natural woman. The literal meaning for me is what you see is what you get. Yet women, me included pluck, shave and paint ourselves so we either feel good about how we look or we can feel confident infront of others. 

On a website we can photoshop our images and we can say what we want to get the reactions we desire. 

So online a natural state is harder to come by.

Im not young but have embraced the digital age with the joys and critical processes aforded to a natural Brit. 

For me to say that those song lyrics encapsulate some of the things i desire and look for makes me vulnerable. 

Some of the lyrics may seem fanciful. Im not someone who looks for someone to manage my existence I am somewhat pragmatic and practical. I am strong, smart and sassy. Ive also been around the proverbial block. Im a mix of hard faced reality and highly sensitive thinker. 

 

But i have a romantic nature and my head is perfectly capable of staying in the clouds. 

 

Is my "soul in the lost and found". Yes. The natural woman in me is a little lost. It needs to be appreciated. Can you claim it? Well its not up for grabs like a prize. A connection and appreciation of old skool desires and needs is rare. It will take time for me to want to show you whats in my soul. Listen to my thoughts. Respond to them with as much consideration as I put into expressing myself and you will find yourself on that path to finding it. 

 

"If I make you happy

I dont need to do more" 

 

Happiness and bliss in a BDSM relationship is deeper and more profound than any other. Because of the trust we build together the senses are heightened. Communication is vital and listening becomes an all consuming task. Get it wrong and we are broken. Get it right and my soul is yours. 

There is a freedom a Sub/Dom relationship has. For me that ability to express my desires and needs freely without judgement is liberating. To have my sexual needs, however dark fulfilled is what i want. To push my limits in a safe space invades my dreams. My physical limits are easier to guage than my emotional ones

In the past I have had my trust and consent violated. Im dealing with that with professional help. Its not me or you. Its him. It did effect my ability to be brave.

But

You have done something to me. You talked me out of my fear. Not through coersive control but by being a man. A man of passion, care, desire and control. Your control of yourself was what i read into our conversation. You didnt dismiss my fears as petty and unfounded. You entered my mind and and made me want to be brave. 

If your can have my soul my body will be yours. I am blessed with a high libido. The simple way to say this is I love sex in all its glorious and inglorious forms. 

But

My physical reaction to your touch was an extension of our conversations. My body flowed in ways I understand are a reaction to making me feel like a natural woman. We never really discussed our physical needs and desires. Its best not to have a tickable bucket list. I come with decades of experience yet am rather shy....im full of duality.

What you felt and how I was in your arms could not be faked. I trembled and shook and my desires gushed out of me. Not just a little tremour,  an earthquake. Aftershocks are still being felt. 

 

Im a natural woman. Emotionally literate yet capable of flights of fantasy. I am looking for a natural man. A man in control. A dominant man with desires and needs. One able to express his emotions. One who is honest.  One who wants to satisfy more than just my sexual needs. He will get my devotion. Why. So I can be open and vulnerable and give my natural self.

שים - ברשותך אגיב בעברית ( באנגלית אצא דביל)
בעיניי אדם טבעי , זה האיש שלא מפחד מהקצוות , לא מפחד מהחדות או החספוס של הלשון. אז קל לקחת את זה לצורה הפיזית , האם הורדת שיערות סביב הרקטום , אבל למעשה זה הרבה יותר עמוק מזה , כשאתה מתחבר למישהו , בצורה עמוקה , גם הפלולה עם השערות השחורות על הרגל , ניראת פתאום חלק מאישיות של האדם. כשאתה טבעי , אתה מחזיק פאסאדה מעייפת , מסכות על מסכות , הגנות על הגנות. אבל בשביל להיות שם , צריך לאהוב את עצמך לא מול המראה ... כמו שכתב סחרוף בשיר ככה זה


ככה זה\ברי סחרוף
אל תחפש רחוק
תישאר קרוב
כי ככה זה
לאהוב את עצמך
לא מול המראה
תיכנס לתוך
כן זה יכול
להאיר אותך

תסתכל לה בעיניים
תישך את השפתיים
עד שזה יכאב לך קצת
בתוך תוכך היא מחכה
שתקפוץ לתוך המים
ותפתח את העיניים
עד שזה ישרוף לך קצת
בתוך תוכך תדע

בוא, בוא ותעזור
לשפוך טיפה של אור
לתוך החור
החשוך הזה
רק אל, אל תיסע רחוק
לא אל תעזוב
כי ככה זה לאהוב אותך
לפני 11 חודשים

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