I’ve always known there was something powerful in submission. It’s not about weakness, but about trust and the freedom that comes with letting go. For a long time, it felt like this. I acted on this but I was unsure of how to express my needs and desires. I was unsure if it was normal. I was unsure if anyone else felt this way. I mean I am not special, unique or diferent.
But then I read Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, he was the guy from who the term masochist evolved.
I’d already encountered the works of de Sade, which focused on dominance and control, but Sacher-Masoch’s writing spoke to me in a different way. In Venus in Furs, he showed me something I hadn’t quite realised. I realised that submission can be an active choice, a way of finding strength through surrender. His characters weren’t just enduring pain for its own sake. They were choosing it because, in doing so, they were able to experience a deeper emotional release and connection.
What really struck me is that masochism, at least in Sacher-Masoch’s world, isn’t about being passive. It’s about finding freedom in vulnerability, about giving up control while still holding on to your sense of self. For the first time, I felt like someone had written what was in my head, something real and human. Submission, for me, has always been about choosing to surrender, not because you have to, but because you want to. And Sacher-Masoch gave me the words to understand that.