Initially, I established my boundaries to avoid undesirable or distressing experiences, and it was crucial for me to communicate them to my partner. This helped establish expectations and prevent uncomfortable or traumatic situations.
These boundaries mainly revolved around activities that repulsed me or held no appeal in my BDSM encounters.
However, I came to realize that these limits extended beyond the physical acts themselves.
They encompassed trust, respect, and control.
Trust means observing that my partner will honor the boundaries I set, allowing me to build trust by expressing my needs and desires.
Respect involves recognizing that as long as my limits are respected, it demonstrates genuine concern for my well-being. It assures me that my partner truly acknowledges and understands my needs, rather than viewing me as an object.
Control is maintained by knowing that there are certain boundaries I will never cross, regardless of the circumstances. By respecting these limits, my partner enables me to retain control over my experiences.
This way, BDSM remained a game for me, distinct from my reality, where I am the one in control.
I make decisions and establish boundaries according to my own judgment.
