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Sexualization is capitalism.
That's not a metaphor. It's just what happens when attraction gets pushed through a market logic. Because market logic has three rules - be visible, be legible, and be comparable. sexualization trains the brain to look at people the way that a grocery scanner reads product. Quick signals, instant judgment - move on. But errotic attraction does not work like that, it runs on mystery, and sexualization destroys mystery instantly. Because sexualization replaces encounter with maximum visibility -Everything is already announced, Everything is already exaggerating, Everything is already optimized to be understood in 3 seconds. But fascination does not grow where everything is immediately understood. Fascination grows in the space between someone noticing. Fascination grows between you noticing someone and understanding them. Sexualization collapses that space. That's why hypersexual environment often feel strangely dead. Men drifted to sexualization because it's the only language they ever handed. Most of men's flirting today is a combination of three categories - porn language, locker room language, and advertising language. And than they try to make intimacy out of that.
Porn language turns bodies into explicit stimulus. People slowly get trained to convert their bodies into advertising surfaces. Because if visibility increases- attention increases. But attention is not attraction - attention is traffic. Attraction is singular. And singular attraction requires something that the market can't tolerate- mystery. Mystery requires interior life, incomplete knowledge, it requires the possibility that someone is more than what could be scanned in three seconds. And this is where the traps shows up inside relationships, because this is also why a relationship can be freaky all day and still die. Because sexualization increases the stimulus while killing the mystery requires for eroticism. Sexualization can create intensity. But intensity is not the same as eroticism. Intensity burns, eroticism breathes - that's why real flirting sounds completely different from sexualized language. Real flirting sounds like this - I like the way you smile shows up before you laugh, you have a way of looking at me that makes me forget what I'm saying. Those lines don't scan a body, they discover a person, and discovery create tension, tension creates fascination. Which leads to the strangest truth in modern attraction - the more that people sexualize themselves to become desirable, guess what happens? They destroy the mystery that makes desire possible. Because sexualization does not make someone irresistible, it makes them immediately understandable. And erotic fascination does not runs on understanding, it runs on discovery