In the Pink

My numbers have dropped... not because I've written less, or at least, I don't think so.

Maybe because I've posted less of my Smut here.

Yeah, maybe.

Or maybe -- as I suspect -- the pelicans of noteworthy and pitgam fame have finally died. You know what I mean -- as in -- שימותו השקנאים.

Heh.

The smut will return soon. Promise.

Ah, ye olde idiots of teh Web.

When will you learn that your behavior is nothing short of Neanderthal, and almost if not absolutely guaranteed NOT to get you laid.

You will remember the charmer who contacted me a few weeks ago, yes?

Apparently, he is not alone.

Another letter, this one starting off on an altogether more promising note. A sexual fantasy, no less -- although it was pitifully vanilla -- but it was far more personal, and far less obnoxious than many approaches I have received (do not get me started) so I wrote back to him in a pleasant enough manner.

His response revealed the dickhead within:

My proposal is this: We meet for some fun once and afterwards if we both enjoyed it and feel comfortable with the idea of doing it again then we can do it again but if not then we both had a good time and can part on good terms. Please though if we think we want to do this then lets make plans rather than messing round exchanging emails for weeks.

Because, heaven forbid we should wish to *communicate* with someone with whom we may or may not be planning to sleep. It's all about the animal magnetism, grunt, snort, Me Tarzan, You Jane, Neanderthal-throw-her-over-the-shoulder-and-head-back-to-the-cave. Right?

I digress. He continues:

With women on this site they say they want want to get together but want to talk on here first for weeks but when it comes to actually making plans they back out. One time I made plans to meet somebody and on the day she didn't show up and has refused to reply to any emails.

Frankly, the neediness coupled with the primitive attitude is a bit of a red flag for me -- and I can't say I blame her.

I should write a book about this...

I can feel the phloem creeping up on me.

Sickness is around the corner. And when I say sickness, I do not mean the perverted fun stuff that is WIITWD, rather the icky disgusting green stuff one is likely to cough up of a morning.

Yes, I know I should stop smoking. I have temporarily halted smoking, although I promise nothing.

Either way, my head feels foggy, and my legs are almost too heavy to move -- making walking a complete delight... not.

Ugh. Bleugh. Feh.

😒

I'm freezing.

Brrr.

That is all.

Oh, and this. Since I'm having a rather flirtatious affair with show-tunes recently, I thought I'd play you a song from my favourite musical show EVAH.

(P.S. Offers to warm me up had better be good.)

The level of persistence coupled with complete cluelessness out there is scary.

I have a profile on another site that is largely dormant (my profile, not the site). Every so often, I chck in and read my messages -- just for the hell of it.

My profile clearly states that while the fact of a person's feet alighting on holy soil might indicate a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get laid away from home to them, to me it merely indicates another horny tourist trying his luck. Strangely enough, this little nugget of information rarely manages to filter through the duh! levels of brain matter and have any kind of impact. In fact, gentle reader, I will share my astonishment with you at how very many people do. Not. Get it.

Following a series of unsolicited requests to spend a night making the beast with two backs with an Israeli dude who lives in the US, and comes here occasionally, I finally responded with a polite but firm negative:

Hi,
Sorry, but I don't think we're a match. Your interests and mine don't really coincide.
I wish you the very best in your search.
Lilly

His reply, not two minutes later:

you're totally wrong motek...i have the same interests as you so what are you talking about??

Note: He lists cuckolding as a fetish (been there, done that, no THANK you) and body building as a hobby. Pur-lease. Ahem. I digress.

i'm open kinky wild and fit..don't feel inferior if you're not in great shape like me..

Note # 2: His picture looks as though he's about to pop a vein from holding in his massive gut. Great shape my shiny and not-so-flabby ass. Onwards....

i'm willing to overlook the fact you're heavy..as long as you're a wild fuck who cares..ok..so think again hun..

I had to re-read that one. He's "willing" to overlook the "fact that I'm heavy"?

Was this guy for real?

Clearly, I had found the man of my dreams, and not even while on active search. If anything was going to make me rip off my underwear, and shove my cunt into his face, it was his "willingness" to overlook the "fact that I was heavy".

"Motek", let me tell you something. I love my body. I love my shape. Having fucked other BBW women, I know why so many men prefer it. I'm proud of who I am. I'm incredibly sexy, and believe me -- "wild fuck" doesn't even begin to describe my horizontal capabilities. However, all of this you will never know, since, unfortunately, I am not willing to overlook the fact that you are a horse's ass.

/rant OFF.

The less I write, the more views I get. Sheesh.

So, how's the weekend been, people? Nice weather, huh? Yaright -- for DUCKS.

I trod in a deceptively deep puddle on Friday and was forced (i.e., non-consensual suffering) to spend the morning with cold and wet feet. Bleugh. My Spiritual capabilities seem to have screeched to an unsatisfying halt, as I no longer have any control over the weather. And the Kinneret be damned, when I'm able to be inside, the rain is fine, but when I have to go outside, it sucks the big one.

Of course, this has not dampened my mood. (See what I did there? ;-)) It's also an excuse to share with you one of the more arresting videos I've ever seen. I'm not a huge rap fan, but I love Missy Elliot -- her sheer irreverence and attitude are nothing if not admirable.

May you stay dry and warm this week -- unless you wish to get hot and wet... in which case, let's go with that.

I'm sure I'm not the first to post this here, but I don't care -- it had to be done. (It would have been rude not to. 😃

For my Yankee Doodle Dandy friends who celebrate Thanksgiving, and for everyone else who doesn't but knows that cooking a turkey is involved -- enjoy.

I told you I was enriching and developing my spiritual side.

I speak of the weather and what happens?

Sun!

Have a video to celebrate. You lucky people.

😄

For those of you who, like me, cannot sleep because of the thunder, something soothing.

"The voice of thunder declares my arrival,
The rainbow announces my departure"

Could describe a few people on this site, actually... heh.

Well, as my dear Mother used to say -- it's lovely weather... for ducks. Drive safe, y'all -- and wear rubber. (Soles! Soles! Bunch of fucking perverts.)
.

I am learning to channel my inner spirituality for the greater good.

It's almost like developing a super-power, except learning how to harness the powers that unleash the effect is a long, intricate and somewhat hit-and-miss occupation.

Still, on a small scale, it's working. Or at least, I think it's working. It's not like a super power in that there are no obvious SFX to be witnessed, only concentration on my part, and an outcome that could easily lend itself to fate, the talent (or lack thereof) of another, or -- ugh -- "just one of those things".

No, it's not. It's me. Me, I tell you! 😄

Not that I would encourage those on my shit list to worry or beware or any such nonsense. I said "greater good" and I meant it. I don't activate my spiritual capabilities for evil, because I don't need to. I am a firm believer in the power of Karma -- or whatever the local equivalent of Karma is called. Basically, in my ever-increasing years of experience, those who deal out hatred, irrationality, cruelty, and causeless evil experience a boomerang effect that is (sue me) incredibly satisfying to behold.

Timeline-wise, it may not always have the speed or precision timing of a boomerang... part of the reason why I'm working on nurturing my patience gene like a small, delicately floundering plant. The effect, however, is a given. Deal shit out to nature, and nature will deal shit right back to you. Spread the love -- even, or espeically, if it's BDSM-inspired love -- and it comes back to you fourfold.

Tried and tested; done and dusted.

Have a great week.