I coined a new term for this post:
Relativistic Sadism
Accepting my deviant need for dominance happened long ago and was fairly easy. Coming to terms with the concept of being sadistic was a lot harder and took many years. Yet even now, my sadistic urges are directly tied to my desire to control. (I can do whatever I want with your body; I can make you feel whatever I want with my caresses or strokes). I don't even have typical dark sadistic fantasies of non consensual nature, though I do confess to inappropriate fantasies of power and control.
Anyway, my point is this: I am locked in to the dynamics of a willing partner. I derive more pleasure from taking a modestly masochistic bottom to 110% of her previously perceived capacity, than I would from flaying away twice as hard with a serious masochist but only taking her to 50 % of her capacity. I certainly enjoy being with someone having a sufficiently high threshold that I don't need to hold back much, but still, it is her reaction that gives me the most pleasure.
My question then is how do other tops feel about this kind of relative sadism, and whether for them it seems like a compromise so that they might avoid recognizing deeper and darker sadistic desires within. No need to explore psychopathic cases; this thread is intended for people who can differentiate between fantasy and reality.
I also would like to hear from bottoms about the converse.
לפני 19 שנים. 10 באוקטובר 2005 בשעה 5:37
