The part from yesterday translated into English
I always liked the way men looked at me, with that kind of desire that looked like they breathe a little heavier than usual and in a way I believed only I could feel and recognize it. I loved that they wanted me and I liked feeling loved, I believed they looked at me more than just a sexual object, which I also saw in them and over time I learned to accept that they are only my sexual object that I use. I learned to understand that they were the tool in my creator hands and by waving my hair, tiny bit of pouting and a few winks I managed to control every breath and every movement they did.
At first I felt used, after every sexual encounter with a man I felt like I was unworthy as dirt at their feet. I always wanted them to love me and tell me how amazing and good I was. I always sought the compliments and the warm caress that came with the powerful orgasm I learned to give them. Over the years I improved and learned more and more how to give them the best feeling I knew I also learned how to delight and touch and how to approach. I learned to be open to almost everything I was offered, especially to tempting and new proposals I had never known. I loved learning and getting to know this world from all it’s corners, there was nothing I was afraid to try and nothing that stopped me from trying whatever I or them could think of.
I have known dozens if not hundreds of men during my years as a developing woman. I had experienced almost every area I had thought of and also, learned to choose for myself the right men who knew how to touch that place in my heart that was always dark and empty. At night I always kept thinking about the various encounters and the different people I knew. I thought of the caress, the breath, and that captive and magical look they used to give me. The same look everyone had. The look that penetrated me and gave me the desired feeling that I was seeking for.