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Guest service Shalom, Nessi speaking, how may I assist you?

- Do you speak english?

- Guest service Shalom, Nessi speaking, how may I assist you? 

- HELLOOOOO, DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?????

-  GUEST SERVICE SHALOM, NESSI SPEAKING, HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU???

- FRED, SHE DOESN'T SPEAK A WORD OF ENGLISH!!! (ניתוק). 

- Hi, do your rooms have a bathroom?

- Yes, sir they do. 

- All the rooms?

- Yes, ALL of them. 

- I think you forgot to put one in mine!

- ........

- Hello, can you please send someone to separate our beds?

- One moment, let me check (בודקת במחשב ורואה שזאת מיטה זוגית) Sir this is a kingsize bed. 

- So what is the problem?

- No problem at all, I will send someone with a saw right up. 

- Ok, please hurry I want to take a nap. 

- .....