.I have been to a lot of situations in my life, some better some worse
But it all came down to this, either you do or you die.
Eventually every mind, body and soul has a limit.
Some more then others, some programmed to mentally blockade and prevent any mental and psychological damage the , .brain deems overwhelming
In some cases ourmind is just automatically programmed to detace us in a situation of grave emotional crisis, to prevent permanent damage to the mind but the funny thing is this auto program created by our brain is a permanent damage on it's own accord.
For me this process is simple and cold, mental disconnection in a moment's notice.
Seperates me from becoming a raging monster that might just as well devour and burn all and any who might as to step in the wrong direction.
That cold detachment is what also provides me with many opressed emotions and countless sleepless nights.
Providing it's kind blessing while sheering deep inside my soul and flesh, almost like a stab to the heart on the cold snow, making sure to spread it's red velvet stains across the ever so right snow.
But the fortitude of the mind is ever so playfull, allowing me to star into that hollow shell in the mirror.
Keeping the mind itself cold and sharper as ever, while the soul itself is left in the background to watch from deep inside that icy cold prison that was build deep being these eyes that keep staring back at me. reminding me of a long forgotten "" movies i watched so many years ago, "Being John malkovich" while that movie provides an interesting insight to how it may feel to live inside some else's body.
it also provide a good description almost to the letter to the feeling i get when i watch that person i no longer recognize in the mirror.
Staring back every so cold with sharpned eyes, piercing through whatever maybe left in the one looking back.
Emotionless but alive, that person moves, breaths, talks and in ways more then one is more alive then me.
But i don't know him, and that is what scares me the most that unweary feeling that i am trapped inside someone else's
body unable to do anything but watch and see what is next to come.
.Cold and heartless that person may be, but a necessary indevidual if i am to survive what is yet to come
But the faster he appears and i disappear, the smaller the cage gets and the harder i try to break free from the chains .my mind have bestowned upon me
And The more time passes, the more im unsure what should i fear more, the dead man in the mirror or the beast that is waiting to break free from it's cage.
As time go by, and i keep seeing that reflecting the more i do not recognize either of them.