I'm getting too many compliments lately.
And the trouble is, I'm starting to believe them.
Because I can usually differentiate between genuine compliments and niceties you have to scrape the bottom of the barrel for.
And I don't know if I like it.
Because it's not the compliments themselves nor the people they're coming from that matter, it's my own feeling of self worth.
And I could never trust it. I can't trust it when it tells me I'm horrible, that I can never accomplish anything, that it'll be easier to die;
And I can't trust it when it tells me my actions matter, that I have a positive influence on the world. That it'll be easier to die.
And yet I'm still here. Doing everything and nothing. Getting fucked and abused and blocking all of the world's distractions to do it.
Everything hurts so good
And it's songood that everything hurts.