סיפורה של מתחלפת

Life throws it's cruelty without warning, and we all learn to cope in our own ways.

Some manage to step around the damage, others, myself included, carry the emotional and psychological wounds that can’t be outrun.

When my PTSD kicks in, instinct takes over—my kiddo comes first. Everything else fades.

For a while, I found my balance again. I felt steady. I felt light. I felt almost second away from being happy. Then the news arrived: he’ll be here for a month starting today, And suddenly, the weight returned. Each breath becomes heavy, crushed beneath unseen bricks pressing into my chest, and the peace I had, just slipped away, It's no longer a state of being, but a luxury  that is now out of reach.

It feels like carrying a private hell beneath the surface, burying it deep so no one else has to see. Like swallowing the pain just to stay upright, numbing myself enough to keep going.it feels like holding the world on my shoulders not because I am unbreakable, but because I have to be.

I am strong, not for me, but for somebody who's much more important, he needs me to be strong and functional, to be the safe place when the unexpected is rushing towards us.

Cross your fingers for me. God knows I need it.