על הפער בין שליטה להצלפה

I've had enough of you

Enough of you belittling my pain, my anguish, my trauma.

Why do strangers get the privilege of your mercy?

Why do I need to disappear for you to acknowledge me, while soldiers you don't have any relations to get your unconditional love, your support, your money. 

AND WHY COULDN'T IT BE???

I was also a soldier, but I had to begged you, with no avail. 

I had to steal so I won't be hungry. 

I had to hide, I had to shut my mouth while my pain was so agonizing. 

Why is that? It's because it's not sexy to support your kid?

Yeah, it won't help your image. 

And what does it matter, because you now I won't speak up about your abandonment, on your neglecting of me. 

I won't ruin the precious name, and won't bother you for petting yourselves on the shoulder for being so kind to anyone but me. 

I was raped, kicked, belittled, stalked, attacked, ran over, broken inside on any level. 

And did you comfort me? NO. 

You told me to shut up, to be strong. 

To hide my pain, to work harder when I can't no more. 

You told me that it was my fault. 

I WAS 13!

13 When he took everything from me. 

And some how, I'm the one to blame. 

So tell me, please. 

Why do you accept and understand the trauma of everyone that has been through something somewhat traumatic, but you can't show me any pity. 

WHY IS MY SUFFERING NOT ENOUGH??????

Leave me alone.