מונולוג של כלבה

I’ve always said, what doesn’t break you, makes you stronger….

Or in plain simple words, Pain makes you feel alive.
So, let's pain.
It’s not the first time I replace heartache for physical pain, I find it quite liberating. 

It feels like I actually leave my body and mind, and all is left is a soul for you to pick into.
I can say for sure, I’m not the typical masochistic bitch, cause I’m not masochistic what so ever.
So I will never ask for you to inflict pain on me, just so I can hurt, but I will ask for it when I know I need some freedom.
Recently I found out, my ultimate freedom is when I’m tied up.
This is exactly the moment when I allow myself to set my soul free.
This past week has been wrecking workwise. Exhausting new job, a demanding new boss, and I.

Trying to build a new department, probably still unsuccessfully. But I’ll get there.
I feel like I need to get tied up, in order to blow off some steam, to release myself from all the burden of my life.

Just to lay there, helpless, and try to find my serenity
I think I’ve discovered a new part of me…

Quite frankly, it’s a conundrum for me.

How the hell, can someone be tied up, with no way to move, at times even can hardly breath, gaged, bound, and still can regain self-control?

In my eyes, it’s mesmerising, that our soul is built this way.

Once you set it free, you can reach practically everything. You just need to tie yourself up. LOL.

I see that words don’t burn me like they used to, now I see that it’s all been a one big excuse, not to deal with the real me.

I hope, one day, there will be nothing that could bring me down.

This is a brand new me!!